The Raving Theist

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Daily Headline (Lincoln’s Birthday)

February 12, 2009 | 8 Comments


Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, February 12, 2009
Special to The Raving Theist

Former President Abraham Lincoln marked his 200th birthday today by effusively praising President Barack Obama, with particular reference to the new chief executive’s policy on abortion.

Lincoln said that he was “embarrass’d” by the media’s obsessive comparisons of Obama to him, stating that Obama was superior in every conceivable way. “Whilst flatter’d be I by the extravagance of such homage, ‘twould be more aptly said that in the shadow of his greatness, my stature is best contrast’d with that of the lowly Millard Filmore.”

Lincoln, still recovering from a massive 1865 head wound, paid special tribute to Obama’s support of the proposed Freedom of Choice Act. FOCA would eliminate the remaining state law restrictions on abortion, including parental notification and consent, waiting periods, public funding and physician licensure requirements.

“One score and sixteen years ago, our Supreme Court brought forth on this continent, a new ruling, conceived in non-conception, and dedicated to the proposition that the unborn are created unequal,” he noted. “But tho’ two and one half million score children were righteously slaughtered, the slavery continu’d most dreadfully, with young girls enslaved to their parents, requir’d to wait one score and four hours for an abortion, or compell’d to view a daguerreotype of the fetus.” Lincoln said FOCA represented a greater stride toward freedom than his own Emancipation Proclamation, declaring that America would soon be liberated from every constraint of God or morality.


8 Responses to “Daily Headline (Lincoln’s Birthday)”

  1. Lily
    February 12th, 2009 @ 4:32 pm

    How do you do it??!!? I bow in awe before your greatness. 4 headlines that pretty much say everything there is to say about the one who WON the election.

  2. Carla
    February 12th, 2009 @ 4:45 pm


  3. James Stephenson
    February 12th, 2009 @ 5:56 pm

    Great post RT.

    Obama is looking like a rabbit in the head lights at the moment. He looks scared of what he has inherited and he doesn’t really look like the suave wordsmith he did when he was reading from the teleprompt during his campaign.

    America will yet regret putting one of the beautiful people in power. Obama is all style and absolutely no substance.

  4. Jack
    February 12th, 2009 @ 6:44 pm

    Unjust governance must be deposed. Their legal codes need not be obeyed when those codes trample inalienable rights.

  5. Jim P
    February 12th, 2009 @ 11:47 pm

    Careful with these posts! I almost woke my wife up laughing. Very funny (the parts that aren’t utterly depressing of course).

  6. frustrated(mk)
    February 13th, 2009 @ 7:27 am

    “Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power.” Aldous Huxley

  7. Louise
    February 14th, 2009 @ 3:43 am

    Sheer brilliance!

    God help us all.

  8. nile
    February 14th, 2009 @ 5:13 am

    “Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power.” Aldous Huxley

    Just replace the word idealism with divine revelation!

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