The Raving Theist

Dedicated to Jesus Christ, Now and Forever

Lord, Give Me Strength

January 12, 2009 | 12 Comments

A prayer for those of you who work out:

Our Barbell, who art so heavy, howling be my pain.
Thy gym’s no fun, it kills my buns, my girth is now 57.”
Give us free weights, our daily treadmill, and relieve us from benchpresses,
As we behold those whose triceps impress us.
And lead the hot into hydration, and deliver abs of steel,
For thine is the spin room, the power walk, and the core strength, for ever
and ever.


12 Responses to “Lord, Give Me Strength”

  1. nancy
    January 12th, 2009 @ 2:01 am, what’s your name?
    i’m new here to your blog.

  2. knoser
    January 12th, 2009 @ 5:53 am

    A perfect blogpost for the new year!

  3. Beelzebub
    January 12th, 2009 @ 7:08 am

    Just consider it sharing in the Passion. You see, conversion opens whole new vistas on life! {Shakes head, mutters to self, walks away…}

  4. Carla
    January 12th, 2009 @ 8:06 am


  5. Livingstrong
    January 12th, 2009 @ 8:40 am

    Oh no, please do not make another sport joke, RT. This one didn’t work.
    See, you say: “A prayer for those of you who work out”

    …and then your ‘prayer’ talks about ‘howling be my pain.
    Thy gym’s no fun, it kills me some,…and relieve us from benchpresses…

    The beginning of your post should say: “A prayer for those of you who DON’T like to work out”

  6. Nina
    January 12th, 2009 @ 8:52 am

    Oh, how true…

    Not to mention the pain and suffering of heart disease, Type II diabetes, hypertension, respiratory issues, hormonal problems, joint problems, etc., that obesity causes…not to mention exponentially increased risk of a slew of cancers.

    There’s nothing remotely funny about encouraging people to overeat and be lazy. Nothing. Especially when we’re starting to see an huge increase in obesity related diseases in very young children.

  7. UnspeakablyViolentJane
    January 12th, 2009 @ 10:41 am


  8. Melissa
    January 12th, 2009 @ 2:38 pm

    Not one of my favorites, RT.

    I’m one of those that don’t always like to workout, but I keep trying. It truly is a struggle for me and only by the grace of God do I get through it. I truly do need His strength to get me through my workouts – no joke.

  9. Livingstrong
    January 12th, 2009 @ 3:38 pm

    OK RT, not the kind of humor you are using in this Christian-sports kind of joke, but I think it’s funny and it relates to it.

    Question: Where do religious school children practice sports?

    Answer: In the prayground!

  10. Antitheist
    January 13th, 2009 @ 8:06 pm

    Melissa, why not just pray to god and ask him to work out for you?

  11. mathogonolo dinonyane
    December 28th, 2009 @ 6:35 am

    Livingstrong is that a joke what?

  12. Lazaro Kenealy
    June 17th, 2011 @ 12:34 am

    There is clearly a great deal to know about this. I think you created some very good factors in Features also.
    Keep working , terrific occupation!

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