The Raving Theist

Dedicated to Jesus Christ, Now and Forever

Holy Mackerel

January 15, 2009 | 30 Comments

Prawn Eden is baiting me with some fishy puns. Let us pray that I not get hooked:

Our Flounder, who carp in herring, scalloped be thy clam.
Thy swimming’s fun, thy gills breathe on, in perch, angelfish and eel fin.
Kippers stingray our whaley squid, and swordfish us our fresh basses, as we starfish roe who shellfish lungfishes.
fishyAnd lead us not into crustaceans, but deliver us from seaweed.
For brine is the fin-dom, the gar, and the porgy, shore-ever and ever.

Sal-mon.

Comments

30 Responses to “Holy Mackerel”

  1. UnspeakablyViolentJane
    January 15th, 2009 @ 12:20 am

    Would this be a good time to mention the Magic Conch episode of Sponge Bob?

  2. Margaret Catherine
    January 15th, 2009 @ 12:38 am

    Do tell, if you have the gills! We’re vertebrates, we can swim with it. ;)

  3. Lily
    January 15th, 2009 @ 8:36 am

    From my perch, it looks like this pun stuff has gotten out of hand.

  4. Helen
    January 15th, 2009 @ 10:03 am

    I am floundering for something punny to say, but it is roughy.

  5. Jahrta
    January 15th, 2009 @ 10:17 am

    Is this all you’re capable of posting now that you’re a christ puncher?

  6. Carla
    January 15th, 2009 @ 11:09 am

    I minnow you have tons of puns left in ya.

  7. Melissa
    January 15th, 2009 @ 11:52 am

    Ok, this is really starting to get old now. You’ve got bigger fish to fry. ;) Get down deeper. No more fish tales.

  8. Joanne
    January 15th, 2009 @ 12:20 pm

    “Is this all you’re capable of posting now that you’re a christ puncher?”

    Why are you so angry, prey tell? No one to cuttle with?

  9. Skeptimal
    January 15th, 2009 @ 12:22 pm

    What exactly is a christ puncher?

  10. jesuslives
    January 15th, 2009 @ 12:27 pm

    A christ puncher is an antichristian.

  11. Skeptimal
    January 15th, 2009 @ 1:08 pm

    “A christ puncher is an antichristian.”

    I’m thinking it’s either a pun I don’t get or a slam on Christians that I don’t get. Jahrta’s not likely to call RT an antichristian.

  12. jesuslives
    January 15th, 2009 @ 1:13 pm

    it is what it is.

  13. Jahrta
    January 15th, 2009 @ 1:42 pm

    A christ-puncher is a bible thumper. And I’m not angry – just bitterly disappointed that this man went from posting provocative and intelligent pieces to grinding out pun-laden verses day after day after day. You don’t get angry at someone like that. You have pity for them. You wonder what the hell happened to them. You try to help them.

  14. Margaret Catherine
    January 15th, 2009 @ 2:25 pm

    Agreed with those calling for something more solid and less flaky. :) The puns are fun, but I think we’ve proved the, erm, application of the Our Father to all Creation…maybe it is time to fin-ish?

  15. Melissa
    January 15th, 2009 @ 2:37 pm

    I second that. :)

  16. Lily
    January 15th, 2009 @ 2:50 pm

    There’s revolution coming down the pike!

  17. Skeptimal
    January 15th, 2009 @ 5:24 pm

    “And I’m not angry – just bitterly disappointed that this man went from posting provocative and intelligent pieces to grinding out pun-laden verses day after day after day.”

    It makes you wonder, I know. Especially since he felt the need to re-open the blog but he hasn’t yet felt the need to explain himself. The rapid change in his personality is more disturbing than the conversion itself. You converted: fine. But why are you acting like you’ve been assimilated by the Christian version of the Borg?

  18. UnspeakablyViolentJane
    January 15th, 2009 @ 5:27 pm

    Jharta and Skeptimal, you guys have no appreciation for foreplay. It will come out eventually. All roads lead to Rome.

  19. Lily
    January 15th, 2009 @ 5:47 pm

    So, Skeptimal, you think that RT has become the “Christian version of the Borg?” Hmmm. I don’t know if I agree. I will have to mullet over.

  20. Jeffrey L Miller
    January 15th, 2009 @ 5:55 pm

    Well Catholics have been derisively called Mackerel Snappers for eating fish during Lent.

    Repent or you might go to Halibit later.

  21. Beelzebub
    January 15th, 2009 @ 6:30 pm

    “You converted: fine. But why are you acting like you’ve been assimilated by the Christian version of the Borg?”

    Body-snatchers anyone?

    I never visited this site before the conversion, so I’ll just have to take people’s word that there was intelligible discourse here. A constant stream of post-conversion puns is strangely appropriate though. Could this be speaking in tongues?

  22. Joanne
    January 15th, 2009 @ 7:23 pm

    LOL. You think RT needs your help more than that of the One who said, “Eel make you fishers of men?” I’m of a different school of thought. Your posts just sound like carping to me. I doubt RT finds your criticism stinging, so maybe you should try to be a ray of light and hope instead.

    RT, I for one hope your conversion is going swimmingly.

    Take care, all :)

  23. Louise
    January 15th, 2009 @ 7:48 pm

    A christ-puncher is a bible thumper. And I’m not angry – just bitterly disappointed that this man went from posting provocative and intelligent pieces to grinding out pun-laden verses day after day after day. You don’t get angry at someone like that. You have pity for them. You wonder what the hell happened to them. You try to help them.

    Take your messiah complex somewhere else, J.

  24. Helen
    January 15th, 2009 @ 8:42 pm

    Unspeakably Violent Jane,
    “you guys have no appreciation for foreplay. It will come out eventually. All roads lead to Rome.”
    While I don’t agree with you about God, (yes, I am a Christian, and a Catholic one at that), I must say, well said. A most excellent metaphor. I stand in awe!

  25. skeptimal
    January 15th, 2009 @ 9:10 pm

    “Jharta and Skeptimal, you guys have no appreciation for foreplay. It will come out eventually.”

    Oh me of little faith.

  26. Joe
    January 15th, 2009 @ 9:51 pm

    Make the puns stop!

  27. Livingstrong
    January 16th, 2009 @ 12:28 am

    Skeptimal said; “But why are you acting like you’ve been assimilated by the Christian version of the Borg?”

    I was getting ready to go to sleep but this comment made me laugh so hard I just don’t feel sleepy anymore.
    I think I’m gonna have to prepare myself a cup of relaxing tea and turn my PC off.

    LOL, that was really really funny. I just picture all the Christians unified and interconnected thinking the same thing and repeating the same stuff over and over like the Borg.

    Oh well. Good night everyone.

  28. Jahrta
    January 16th, 2009 @ 4:03 pm

    Louise – go f yourself, kittenwhiskers. It’s a free country. And as far as this conversion being a hoax, at this point it wouldn’t matter. I wouldn’t point and laugh and say “ha ha very funny.” Either which way, it’s just incredibly stupid. Any which way you choose to slice it, it’s still a nutty turd.

  29. БaкинcкийPoмaн
    May 26th, 2009 @ 3:02 pm

    Молодец! Поддерживаю! :)

  30. comprar propecia finasterida
    January 12th, 2011 @ 6:51 am

    I searched for antichristian and I found your blog. I really like it. Keep going – well done!

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