The Raving Theist

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Flower Power (Updated)

January 14, 2009 | 20 Comments

On an earlier post, commenter Beelzebub compared my conversion to the moment in Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978 version) when Donald Sutherland turned around and emitted a horrifying plant sound (at 1:50). That’s exactly what I did, and this is what I was saying:

The Florist’s Prayer

Our Flower, who art in heather, holly be thyme name.
Thy springtime come, thy willow bloom, on heath amaryllis jasmine.
Ginseng this sage our daisy glads, and forsythia our narcissus,
entomologistAs we forget-me-not those who crabgrass lisianthus.
And leaf us phlox into carnation, but deliver us from weevils.
For vine is the ginger, the sunflower and the morning glory, poinsettia and poinsettia.

Al mond.
 

Sorry, I know I went a little nuts at the very end.

UPDATE: For those of you who still doubt the rationality of plants, keep in mind that there is little dispute between believers and non-believers as to their intelligence. Atheist philosopher David Hume stated that “[t]he cause, therefore, of the world, we may infer to be something similar or analogous to generation or vegetation” (Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion, Part VII [176]), and the great Christian thinker Rene Descartes famously declared “Hyacinth, therefore I am.”

Comments

20 Responses to “Flower Power (Updated)”

  1. Melissa
    January 14th, 2009 @ 12:11 am

    When will your tulips say anything else? This is pun-ishment. ;) LOL

  2. Melissa
    January 14th, 2009 @ 12:13 am

    Oh, and I forgot to add, you’re driving us daisy. ;)

  3. Beelzebub
    January 14th, 2009 @ 4:44 am

    Good lord, don’t remind me. Remembering that movie still gives me the creeps and I watched it on video probably ten years ago.

    As I said in that post, it was an uncharitable comparison, but it doesn’t have much to do with you. It’s rather, I think, how atheists amongst themselves view someone who’s “gone over.” From your years of atheist solidarity you couldn’t have helped but notice that atheism, or at least agnostic atheism (quick remedial review: “ag atheism” means we can never absolutely know anything, but I do not hold dear, i.e. ‘believe’ there is a god) is very much self-perceived as a brother/sisterhood of intellectual integrity. Abdication from it is considered a “fall,” if you’ll excuse the trespass on Christian territory. That’s a simple statement of fact and general perception. It’s no *crime* to convert. You of course have the right to believe anything you damn well want. You can believe there are pink Martians under your sofa. But I don’t think you can blame the ‘atheist community’ (actually, there is none) for their un-love (a-love?). The attitude is defined in terms of a negative; it’s not hatred, it may have a certain tinge of disdain, but mostly it’s the withdrawal of allegiance, which you can’t but expect. Am I being clear?

  4. Beelzebub
    January 14th, 2009 @ 4:53 am

    Probably the major reason for all the above is that Atheism is still a pretty diffuse and tenuous group. Once it accretes and concentrates — and it appears that it will; it’s one of the largest and fastest growing demographics in America — single abdications will only be sloughed off. But right now they can be PR disasters, hence the uproar over your conversion.

  5. Beelzebub
    January 14th, 2009 @ 5:08 am
  6. Skeptimal
    January 14th, 2009 @ 8:50 am

    Another day, another blasphemy. I’m not sure whether it’s the blasphemy or the quality of your poetry lately that more condemns you to hell. :)

  7. UnspeakablyViolentJane
    January 14th, 2009 @ 9:06 am

    Actors with children that can’t act should kill those children. I almost forgot how much fun Donald Sutherland is to watch.

  8. Carla
    January 14th, 2009 @ 11:34 am

    Flower you doin, TRT??

  9. Bob the Great
    January 14th, 2009 @ 1:27 pm

    You had me goin for a while. That is until I saw the “theist parody” when I held my cursor over the blog title. I don’t know if that was a good joke to pull, a lot of our atheist comrades appear to have taken it very seriously.

  10. Skeptimal
    January 14th, 2009 @ 4:23 pm

    “You had me goin for a while. That is until I saw the “theist parody” when I held my cursor over the blog title. I don’t know if that was a good joke to pull, a lot of our atheist comrades appear to have taken it very seriously.”

    The atheists were joking. Seriously.

  11. Joanne
    January 14th, 2009 @ 4:48 pm

    These bloomin’ puns are killing me. I might dianthus not be able to post anymore.

  12. Melissa
    January 14th, 2009 @ 5:05 pm

    LOL Joanne!

    I think the puns have rubbed off on me quite a bit. I used one in the title of the blog I just posted. It has to do with snow – and that’s snow jokin’! ;) LOL Oh man, I think everyone on here could make with some chilling remarks if we ran with that one! :) I’m sure all the ones who are used to having a cold shoulder could think of some icy comebacks easily. ;) LOL

  13. James Stephenson
    January 14th, 2009 @ 6:38 pm

    ‘Probably the major reason for all the above is that Atheism is still a pretty diffuse and tenuous group. Once it accretes and concentrates — and it appears that it will; it’s one of the largest and fastest growing demographics in America — single abdications will only be sloughed off. But right now they can be PR disasters, hence the uproar over your conversion.’

    – Beelzebub

    You are joking aren’t you. Atheism is waning. No movements based upon negatives have ever thrived. There are less people identifying themselves as Atheists in America now, than before the rash of Atheist best sellers (most Christians I know have The God Delusion – no wonder it sold well).

    In fact Atheists are seen as one of the most unpopular groups in American society.

    A survey of 2000 Americans said:

    I Would Disapprove if My Child Wanted to Marry a Member of This Group

    —Atheist 47.6
    —Muslim 33.5
    —African American 27.2
    —Asian American 18.5
    —Hispanic 18.5
    —Jew 11.8
    —Conservative Christian 6.9
    —White 2.3

    “From a telephone sampling of more than 2,000 households, university researchers found that Americans rate atheists below Muslims, recent immigrants, gays and lesbians and other minority groups in “sharing their vision of American society.” Atheists are also the minority group most Americans are least willing to allow their children to marry.”

    When asked about their feelings about the impact of different groups.
    Here are the numbers of NON-CHRISTIANS who view the impact of the groups as negative:

    Islam: 24%
    Buddhism: 22%
    Scientology: 30%
    Atheism: 50%

    Not very popular, even amongst the non-religious – Oh dear.

    NOT EXACTLY WINNING THE HEARTS AND MINDS!!!

    2005 Gallup Poll:

    Atheists in USA = 5%

    2008 Gallup Poll:

    Atheists in America = 4%

    Atheism is an evolutionary dead end.

  14. Dawn Eden
    January 14th, 2009 @ 6:43 pm

    So glad you are thinking of podly things.

  15. Joanne
    January 14th, 2009 @ 10:51 pm

    For peat’s sake, Melissa, don’t encourage me!

  16. Geoffrey
    January 14th, 2009 @ 11:10 pm

    Elm already tired iris. Sirius lily, wandering jew going to stop?

  17. Pauli
    January 15th, 2009 @ 10:44 am

    Abdication from it is considered a “fall,” if you’ll excuse the trespass on Christian territory.

    More of a fall into something than from something. Much nicer… like that old Smothers Bros. “I fell into a vat of chocolate” tune. Or maybe falling in love?

    Adam & Eve’s fall was more like falling out the 10th story window or maybe falling down the library steps.

  18. Skeptimal
    January 15th, 2009 @ 12:20 pm

    “In fact Atheists are seen as one of the most unpopular groups in American society.”

    We’re choosing relitions based on popularity now? Well, I guess that settles it, then.

    While it may or may not be true that the number of people identifying as atheist is down, the number of people who have moved past religion is up.

    “Anti-” movements may or may really last long. Alcoholics Anonymous (an anti-group by some definitions) is similar to atheism in the sense that it recognizes that alcohol, like religion, is destructive for some people. But you’re wrong about atheism being an “anti” group at its core. “Atheist” doesn’t mean “anti;” it just means “non.”

  19. Jeney
    January 15th, 2009 @ 10:58 pm

    Bob The Great:

    I noticed that, too. But I also noticed that one of them is titled, “atheist parody”.

  20. Bill
    July 18th, 2009 @ 5:42 am

    Good point! Thanks!

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