The Raving Theist

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Daily Headline

January 8, 2009 | 32 Comments

theistparody132

Comments

32 Responses to “Daily Headline”

  1. Margaret Catherine
    January 8th, 2009 @ 12:14 am

    Notice the ominous silence of the middle kitten. Then run. Fast and far.

  2. Margaret Catherine
    January 8th, 2009 @ 12:22 am

    OTOH, is RT making a basket case for God? Shedding his previous assumptions?  Desiring only the milk of human kindness? What, indeed, is the tail he has yet to tell?

  3. Beelzebub
    January 8th, 2009 @ 5:13 am

    That yellow Kitty looks a little lesbian.

  4. Jeg
    January 8th, 2009 @ 5:34 am

    Pussies!!

  5. mk
    January 8th, 2009 @ 6:21 am

    What’s the matter Jane?  Cat got your tongue?
    Feline cornered?
    Shame on the Theist for putting you on the spots.
    Himalyan it on pretty thick!
    I think he needs to Paws and consider that this is all Javanese to  you.
    I think he’s a Cheetah, trying to bully you like this!  It’s just a Litter much, don’t you think?
    I’d be Lion if I said I didn’t want you with us too, but it Servals no purpose to Stripe you of your defenses. 

    I think he needs to Scratch this approach, lest  you decide to Flea.

  6. mk
    January 8th, 2009 @ 6:22 am

    Watch it Beezlebub,

    That yellow kitty body builds and she’ll kick your ass… ;)

  7. Lily
    January 8th, 2009 @ 6:28 am

    Hah! I vet I could take the yellow kitty and her 5 older brothers on in the pouring rain and win. Just calling a spayed a spayed.

  8. mk
    January 8th, 2009 @ 6:34 am

    Lily,

    Unless you’re in Australia, why doesn’t it surprise me that you are a morning person too?

  9. mk
    January 8th, 2009 @ 6:36 am

    Lily,

    We would love to have you over at our blog.  Not as much controversy, but very Catholic, and pr life.  You might like it.  We have a few posters that are anti religion and pro choice (wish we had more) but we’ve only been up for a few months.  You’d fit right in!

  10. Lily
    January 8th, 2009 @ 6:49 am

    Omigosh! I am not a morning person of my own free will. Between charley horses and cats demanding to be let out, fed, petted and/or worshipped, I am lucky to be able to sleep until  5 a.m. I haven’t had the joy of sleeping late (I’d settle for a reasonable hour) in 20 years.

    I have taken a look at your blog but haven’t had a chance to spend any quality time there, so to speak. I will manage it one of these days!

  11. Christina
    January 8th, 2009 @ 7:13 am

    I thought it was infinite dog-like love.

    You’ve heard about the insomniac dyslexic agnostic, haven’t you? He lays awake night wondering if there’s a dog.

  12. mk
    January 8th, 2009 @ 7:28 am

    Lily,

    Please do!  You’d be soooo welcome.

  13. UnspeakablyViolentJane
    January 8th, 2009 @ 8:43 am

    Oh for crying out loud.   I haven’t even had my coffee.  There isn’t enough coffee…

  14. mk
    January 8th, 2009 @ 8:55 am

    Jane,

    Maybe you should try a Red Bull?   It’s quicker…

    Oh, oh, oh, can we do bovine puns now?

  15. mk
    January 8th, 2009 @ 8:56 am

    Sorry, I was just trying to Milk this for all it’s worth.

  16. mk
    January 8th, 2009 @ 8:57 am

    Jane,

    Would you mind my asking…what is that a picture of?  The colors are pretty, but I can’t make out what it is?  Or will I be sorry I asked?  ;)

  17. Skeptimal
    January 8th, 2009 @ 9:05 am

    The first kitten I ever had threw up a lot.  I named her Ralph.  Somehow that seems appropriate to mention here.

  18. mk
    January 8th, 2009 @ 9:15 am

    Uh-Uh, no how, no way…I refuse to do vomit puns.

    I’m Throwin’ Up my hands in exasperation!
    You can Hurl all the grotesque puns at me you want!’
    But I’ll  simply give all of your attempts the old Heave ho.

    Stick that “finger in the back of your throat” pipe and smoke it!

  19. UnspeakablyViolentJane
    January 8th, 2009 @ 11:36 am

    TRT – Yes!  Who but mice and insects could turn their nose up at infinite kittenness.  Just one problem though, for many people, unconditional love would exclude any mention of eternal damnation.

    Beezlebub – Hilarious!

    mk – It’s a small slice of some computer generated art that I found and liked.  I thought it looked like jungle.

  20. Brian Walden
    January 8th, 2009 @ 12:41 pm

    I have to admit I’m not particularly fond of kittenness, but I’m also terribly allergic to them. A few minutes in a room where a cat has shed some hair and my lungs close up making me gasp for breath.

    Puppies I can do.

  21. lily
    January 8th, 2009 @ 1:22 pm

    You will soon be able to have a kitten of your own to love, Brian. PETA has, reportedly, decided that henceforth fish shall be known as sea kittens. Somehow, this will make them less desirable as food …

  22. BenYachov(Jim Scott 4th)
    January 8th, 2009 @ 1:24 pm

    >unconditional love would exclude any mention of eternal damnation.

    Unless one strictly defines enternal damnation as the state of permanently rejecting & resisting  unconditional Kitten love.  You see the Kittens love you, me & even The Devil.  but in the case of the Devil he as reached a point where he reflecively resists the Kitten love & can no longer choose otherwise.  Thus the fact the Kittens love Him grants him no benefit &  he sufffers from the madness of rejecting the kitten love.

     

  23. BenYachov(Jim Scott 4th)
    January 8th, 2009 @ 1:26 pm

    I can offer you all the free food you could eat but if you choose to glue your mouth shut what go would that be?

  24. UnspeakablyViolentJane
    January 8th, 2009 @ 1:32 pm

    Can I barter the eternal kitten love for eternal respect?

  25. James Stephenson
    January 8th, 2009 @ 5:17 pm

    Heart-warmingly funny post.

  26. James Stephenson
    January 8th, 2009 @ 5:37 pm


    >unconditional love would exclude any mention of eternal damnation.
    Unless one strictly defines enternal damnation as the state of permanently rejecting & resisting  unconditional Kitten love.  You see the Kittens love you, me & even The Devil.  but in the case of the Devil he as reached a point where he reflecively resists the Kitten love & can no longer choose otherwise.  Thus the fact the Kittens love Him grants him no benefit &  he sufffers from the madness of rejecting the kitten love.’
     
    – Ben
     
    Excellent comment.

  27. James Stephenson
    January 8th, 2009 @ 5:45 pm

    ‘Can I barter the eternal kitten love for eternal respect?’

    – UVJ

    You want God to respect you. His love is not enough? The funny thing is that He does respect you. He respects your freedom of choice to reject Him. When you finish this life and the full implications of your rejection hit you and you find you are destined to spend the rest of your existence in a place where God is not present, then I would imagine you will curse Him for respecting you enough to take your free-will choice seriously.

  28. James Stephenson
    January 8th, 2009 @ 5:49 pm

    Hell will be a place where the notion that mankind can ever produce a Utopia will be dashed and finally discredited. It will be clear that only God’s rule can produce a Utopia. To live an existence where all hope is dead and to know that you have rejected the author of happiness & satisfaction – well that is Hell enough.

  29. James Stephenson
    January 8th, 2009 @ 5:51 pm

    Sorry for taking the thread in a dark direction.

    Think of the kittens. They’re so cute – all’s well again.

  30. UnspeakablyViolentJane
    January 8th, 2009 @ 6:01 pm

    How do you know you aren’t already in heaven or hell?

  31. Christine the Soccer Mom
    January 8th, 2009 @ 10:17 pm

    Jane,

    We know because we still have a choice.  Once we are in one or the other, there is no longer a choice, because it has been made.

    And, naturally, even when we love someone unconditionally (like I love my children), there are natrual consequences to people’s actions.  I can love my children with every fiber of my being, but if they reject that love and refuse to speak to me or be near me, there isn’t much I can do about it.  (Of course, if they decided that now, they’d have a lot of trouble on their hands, them being ten and seven.)  ;)

    But so it is with God.  He does not “put” anyone in eternal damnation.  People choose to reject Him wholly, and as much as He loves us and has given us Free Will, He cannot stop us from doing so.  Love that is not chosen or given freely is not love at all.  It occurred to me today that the Old Testament speaks of Pharoah’s heart being hardened towards God, that God allowed it to be hardened, and that simply means that God gave Pharoah that same Free Will as the rest of us.  Pharoah hardened his own heart towards God, and God did not stop him.  It was a revelation to me when I thought about it this way.  (See what homeschooling religious education classes does to you?  I get this from teaching my fifth grader – sheesh.  I feel slow some days.)

  32. Colin Gormley
    January 9th, 2009 @ 12:02 am

    (See what homeschooling religious education classes does to you?  I get this from teaching my fifth grader – sheesh.  I feel slow some days.)

    It’s worse when it’s the fifth grader that’s teaching the instructor.  There is much wisdom in the faith of children.

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