The Raving Theist

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Daily Headline

January 29, 2009 | 15 Comments

jnjparody

Front Royal, Virginia, January 29, 2009
Special to The Raving Theist

Baby care products manufacturer Johnson & Johnson has merged with Planned Parenthood, forming a partnership that will cater to the nation’s higher-quality infant stock.

Johnson & Johnson had funded the abortion provider for years. Corporate spokesperson Kirsten Chirper said the merger reflected J&J’s commitment to “upscale parents who have put as much thought into producing their children as we have into designing our products.”

The new entity, J&J&P&P, will sell Johnson’s Wanted Baby Oil in selected markets. “Wanted babies born into loving, affluent families deserve a healthy glow that says ‘I was intended,'” said Chirper.

J&J&P&P will continue its Unwanted Baby Oil line until June 30, 2009. “While we understand that some parents bear the legal obligation to care for end-products of unintended pregnancies that they can never love, J&J&P&P has the responsibility as a corporate citizen to discourage such unfortunate mistakes,” Chirper explained. The company’s program under which baby oil bottle caps can be redeemed for $.25 apiece toward the purchaser’s next abortion will continue until the end of the year.

Comments

15 Responses to “Daily Headline”

  1. Jahrta
    January 29th, 2009 @ 3:54 pm

    Is this what your readers have to look forward to? Endless postings on abortion? I guess it’s true what they say: the more things change, …

  2. Carla
    January 29th, 2009 @ 4:04 pm

    TRT,
    HA!
    I guess I had better stock up on the unwanted baby oil then. Save the caps, people!!

  3. Kelly
    January 29th, 2009 @ 5:21 pm

    Hi Raving THEIST!!

    I found your site recently due to excited postings on the reasonablefaith.org forum about your conversion, and I must say, going through some of your old postings and comparing them to the new is simply astounding. You are a true testament to the verse “seek, and you will find.” I look forward to reading your blog more often. God bless you and the work you are doing for children.

  4. Carla
    January 29th, 2009 @ 8:45 pm

    Could someone please let me know when The First Lady will be accepting the bottle caps?

  5. Jody L.
    January 29th, 2009 @ 11:55 pm

    Due to recent advances in teleportation all bottle caps have been sent back in time to your mother. Relax, there isn’t anything to worry about.

  6. Melissa
    January 30th, 2009 @ 12:46 am

    I didn’t realize that they supported Planned Parenthood! Gosh, that is so sad (and very strange considering that they are in the baby business!). That makes as much sense as Dr. Seuss supporting Planned Parenthood and forbidding pro-lifers from using “a person’s a person, no matter how small” to further the cause for life! You wouldn’t think either would advocate for killing those that would be using their products or reading their books!! I guess their “better minds” can’t see how ridiculous and counterproductive that is!!

  7. Disgustipated
    January 30th, 2009 @ 2:41 am

    This post, the previous posts, the comments.

    Call me blind, call me shallow, but from 50 thousand feet, all I see is a bunch of humans who want others to believe in the same things they do.

    Some use words, others use force, and then there are those who assume guilt and belittlement is the way to spread their message.

    Words cannot express how I am saddened by the human condition, on both fronts, pro-choice and pro-life alike. Everyone spews the same canards, no one is willing to even listen to the other side.

    I taste the grim satisfaction in the words of the Raving Theist, Lily, Melissa, and others. Saying what you want, not caring about anyone but the unborn, twisting facts and stats to prove your point. Jane, Jahrta, Jolly A – are they any better for not accepting that someone can change, that a man can find God against all odds?

    Just remember, all of you: 99.9% of everything that has lived is dead. 20% of all pregnancies never come to term, regardless of whether the mother plays an active role in that statistic. But progress always wins out, it is also part of human nature.

    Why can’t you all focus your efforts on eliminating unwanted pregnancies? Oh yeah, sex is for procreation, intercourse is meant to propagate the species, and if you don’t like it, then don’t have sex.

    I really hope that one day homo sapiens will strive for knowledge, respect and cooperation, and stop taking pictures of themselves smiling over the defeat of someone who doesn’t agree with them. It’s disgusting.

  8. jolly atheist
    January 30th, 2009 @ 5:05 am

    Disgustipated:

    By criticising “a bunch of humans who want others to believe in the same things they do” and then asking “Why can’t you all focus your efforts on eliminating unwanted pregnancies?” you seem to have joined the bunch and displayed another “sad human condition”.

    If you had not been one of the bunch and had been “willing to listen to both sides”, you would have known that, among others, it was your very question being argued. The problem is not that simple because you cannot always eliminate unwanted pregnancies.

    Your statement:

    “Just remember, all of you: 99.9% of everything that has lived is dead. 20% of all pregnancies never come to term, regardless of whether the mother plays an active role in that statistic. But progress always wins out, it is also part of human nature”

    To reply to this authoritative declaration from an evolutionary perspective, it is not progress which is part of human nature, but struggle for existence which is within the nature of all organic beings. Therefore an organic being reproduces, however, ‘Of the many individuals of any species which are periodically born, but a small number can survive'(Darwin)(You can check the validity of this statement in any National Geographic channel)

    To conclude, man is in a position to live both according to and in spite of the laws of nature and in competition with others. Therefore, there will always be discussions, arguments and only temporary respect and cooperation.

  9. frustrated(mk)
    January 30th, 2009 @ 6:24 am

    To reply to this authoritative declaration from an evolutionary perspective, it is not progress which is part of human nature, but struggle for existence which is within the nature of all organic beings</i.

    And those of us on the pro life side are just trying to help those unborn that are struggling for existence! ;)

    Poor little organic beings, just trying to exist…

  10. frustrated(mk)
    January 30th, 2009 @ 6:24 am

    To reply to this authoritative declaration from an evolutionary perspective, it is not progress which is part of human nature, but struggle for existence which is within the nature of all organic beings.

    And those of us on the pro life side are just trying to help those unborn that are struggling for existence! ;)

    Poor little organic beings, just trying to exist…

  11. jolly atheist
    January 30th, 2009 @ 6:37 am

    frustrated (mk) Exactly!

  12. Jesus H. Christ
    January 30th, 2009 @ 2:00 pm

    I just want to say that weather or not a women chooses to have an abortion, its none of anyone elses goddanm buisness, but hers and hers alone, if your against abortion, then dont have one simple as that, live your own life and stop trying to make everyone else conform to your beliefs.

  13. Melissa
    January 30th, 2009 @ 4:27 pm

    Disgustipated, if you really read what we were posting, you would see quite clearly that our concerns are not just about babies. We have EVERYONE in mind when we stand up and oppose the killing of human lives because the consequences affect everyone!! It’s a horrible and painful ripple effect!

    Since you are so open minded to both sides, what’s your position (or are you on the fence?). In sharing your own thoughts, are you or are you not attempting to do the same thing you are accusing us of doing? In telling us what we “should” be doing in your view, aren’t you just as guilty as anyone else for standing up for what they believe to be right and just?

  14. Matthew in Fairfax
    January 30th, 2009 @ 5:48 pm

    After checking it out a little, not sure Johnson & Johnson is as culpable as first appears.

    The Children of God for Life organization posted a list of Planned Parenthood sponsors, including Johnson & Johnson, but indicates support to PP is by way of matching employee contributions, which is an important caveat.

    Likewise, Planned Parenthood of Rochester/Syracuse lists Johnson & Johnson as one company that provides a matching contribution benefit.

    For me, before I conclude that any particular company has joined forces with abortion providers, I would want to know the complete list of organizations they offer to match employee contributions. If they also offer to match contributions to one or more prominent anti-abortion organizations, then I would conclude the company is neutral in the abortion debate.

    The bulletin board analogy works here: a company can provide an electronic bulletin board and allow employees to post comments on any topic, but not be responsible for the views expressed, as long as they do not permit one set of views while prohibiting others. Likewise, if a company like Johnson & Johnson provides matching contributions to a wide range of organizations, such as all agencies supported by United Way, then I would conclude the company is merely providing a benefit to their employees without endorsing any particular viewpoint.

  15. Vince R
    February 1st, 2009 @ 2:44 pm

    This is fast degenerating into a far right wing-nut anti abortion, pro catholic blog. Has nobody been keeping track of the evil machinations of the evil Poep (sic)?
    http://www.adoptanatheist.blogspot.com

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