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Edwards Campaign Issues Fake Apology on Behalf of Kidnapped Atheist Blogmaster

February 8, 2007 | 6 Comments

Raleigh, North Carolina, February 7, 2007
Special to The Raving Atheist

The John Edwards presidential campaign has kidnapped its own blogmaster and issued a fake apology on her behalf in an attempt to quell criticism of faith-unfriendly posts appearing on her former blog, Pandagon.

Mr. Edwards stated that he was “personally offended” by Marcotte’s “intolerant language” and distributed a written apology bearing her forged signature. The document asserted that it was her intention “never to offend anyone for his or her personal beliefs,” and Edwards also claimed to have received a verbal assurance from Ms. Marcotte that she never meant to “malign anyone’s faith.” Close acquaintances of Marcotte, however, stated that it was “quite impossible” that she has changed her opinion of religion, believes that her language was intolerant, or cares in the least whether Mr. Edwards or anyone else who read her profanity-laden, anti-religious attacks was offended by them.

“There’s no need to initiate an ‘Amanda Marcotte conversion watch,'” said one source. “Her loathing of religion continues unabated, and has in fact only increased as a result of the publicity surrounding her hiring.” The source also revealed that Ms. Marcotte is being kept bound and gagged in maid’s quarters in the basement of Mr. Edwards unfinished multimillion dollar mansion in Chapel Hill.

Although expressing concern regarding her involuntary captivity, Marcotte’s allies throughout the blogosphere expressed relief that rumors of an actual apology were false. “For Amanda to abandon her most cherished principles for the sake of expediency would demonstrate the utmost lack of integrity,” said one commenter at Pandagon. “I am so glad that she did not turn out to be another of those phony, cowardly, hypocritical, political prostitutes who would sell her soul for a few dollars and a shot a job in the White House communications office.”

Comments

6 Responses to “Edwards Campaign Issues Fake Apology on Behalf of Kidnapped Atheist Blogmaster”

  1. "Q" the Enchanter
    February 8th, 2007 @ 8:19 pm

    “There’s no need to initiate an ‘Amanda Marcotte conversion watch…”

    LOL

  2. "Q" the Enchanter
    February 8th, 2007 @ 8:19 pm

    “There’s no need to initiate an ‘Amanda Marcotte conversion watch…”

    LOL

  3. ShadowofGod
    February 9th, 2007 @ 10:04 pm

    Say what now?
    Is this some kind of joke?
    [html tag]STYLE[/html tag]

  4. The Exterminator
    February 10th, 2007 @ 6:15 pm

    Edwards has proven to be just another spineless weasel. His fake apology is sickening.

    You might enjoy reading What Edwards SHOULD Have Said

  5. Drusilla
    February 12th, 2007 @ 2:22 pm

    I believe, therefore, that the government must be completely neutral about religion.

    Since Ms. Marcotte is far from neutral towards religion, by this reasoning, Edwards should have fired her. I think those of us who believe in God would agree with that.

  6. HomoCyclist
    February 12th, 2007 @ 7:24 pm

    It’s funny to me how Christians get so easily offended when atheists speak up. Christians can say the most hurtful things about atheists and homosexuals with no regret at all because their “loving” God tells them that it’s OK to hate “sin”. Bull. Good for Marcotte!

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