The Raving Theist

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Atheist Blogger Rejects Candidate’s Pleas to Stay With Campaign

February 13, 2007 | 9 Comments

Raleigh, North Carolina, February 13, 2007
Special to The Raving Atheist

Rejecting the entreaties of a kneeling, begging presidential candidate, atheist blogger Amanda Marcotte yesterday resigned from her position as blogmaster of the John Edwards presidential campaign.

The announcement on Marcotte’s personal site, Pandagon, quelled rumors that the Democrat’s campaign “fired” her because of the controversy surrounding the obscene, blasphemous screeds which permeate Pandagon’s archives.

Sources say that Edwards was “devastated” by Marcotte’s completely voluntarily departure, having wooed her to his candidacy precisely because of her outspoken and uncontrollable hostility to religion.

The resignation comes at a sensitive time for the Edwards’ camp, which was about to unleash a new campaign entitled “Re-Educating a Nation of Ignorant, Mouth-Breathing Godbags.”

“John really thought that with Amanda, he could communicate to Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Stupid the urgent need to shut up and rearrange their thought processes in conformity with his atheistic principles,” said one campaign insider. “Now we’re just going to have to go back our original plan of scrawling his message on flaming bags of radioactive feces and hurling them onto doorsteps across America.”

Marcotte’s totally unforced exit was prompted by the campaign’s decision to temporarily kidnap her and issue a fake apology on her behalf. “I just wanted to fool the Jeebus-lovers for a week or so, by which time their tiny little brains would have forgotten what they were so angry about,” said Edwards. “But I now realize that I seriously compromised Amanda’s godless integrity, making her appear to be a whimpering, spineless, unprincipled panderer.”

Marcotte said she had not forgiven Edwards and was still upset by his widespread circulation of the forged apology — particularly the statement that she intended “never to offend anyone for his or her personal beliefs.” “I don’t give a #$&%&$ about anyone’s @#%$^ feelings,” she said, highlighting the point with today’s post about the “basic reading comprehension problems” of most Christians regarding their “Ancient Mythologies.” She also accused the Edwards campaign of hacking into Pandagon to insert faith-friendly language into one of her posts yesterday. “No, I do not intend to ‘reach out and help the religious left'” she said. “I remain the steadfast and unwavering enemy of God in whatever form he takes.”


9 Responses to “Atheist Blogger Rejects Candidate’s Pleas to Stay With Campaign”

  1. Kate B.
    February 13th, 2007 @ 11:07 am

    Why would Edwards hire someone without reading her work and either embracing it or coming up with a better way to deal with it than “Whoops–I had no idea!”??? I mean, it would have been entirely possible for Edwards to say, “I know some voters on the right are offended by the non-traditional religious leanings of my staffmembers, but I want to move the country in the direction of tolerance for all views on religion, no matter how they are expressed or how far outside the mainstream they may be.” What kind of a hack politician can’t even come up with that much spin? Seriously.

  2. Intolerance?
    February 13th, 2007 @ 12:25 pm

    At least she had the guts to call religion what it is. Though, I would take her insults to believers as going too far, I wouldn’t even call that intolerance.

    What I would call intolerance is shooting someone or bombing someone. So let’s see… abortion clinic bombings? That sounds like intolerance to me.

    Also, we all know that Christians have no problems insulting people. So they’ve got a double-standard where it’s only intolerance if it’s against them. Pretty convenient don’t you think?

    What we’ve got are Christians calling an atheist an idiot because she is “intolerant”/called them an idiot. I’ll have to agree with the atheist on that one… they must be idiots to hold such a blatantly obvious double-standard.

  3. Professor Chaos
    February 13th, 2007 @ 2:35 pm

    This is America, folks. What a sad, sad, pathetic country.

  4. The Exterminator
    February 13th, 2007 @ 6:12 pm

    Christian Nutballs: You’d better tolerate us, if you know what’s good for your shitty Jew-loving Christ-killing dyke ass, you fucking idiot whore atheist.

    John Edwards: They’re right, Amanda. I, too, was personally offended by your words and ideas.

  5. "Q" the Enchanter
    February 13th, 2007 @ 8:06 pm

    This story’s almost as substantive as Dukakis’ trip in the tank with the silly-looking safety helmet. Strange, though, the close scrutiny the Edwards campaign’s received for their choice of blogger when other campaigns have made choices that are of equal or greater news value. It’s all so confusing.

  6. David N. Scott
    February 15th, 2007 @ 11:58 pm

    Haha… This made me laugh because it really seems like some people think this way. ‘Love me, you STUPID SCUM!’

    Well, except with obsecenities, sometimes.

  7. antitheist
    January 11th, 2009 @ 7:26 pm

    Please remember, that in NC and several other southern states, you can’t hold office if you are an atheist. That’s THE LAW! So John hired an atheist as a staff member, cheats on his wife and gets caught. Sounds like a real bad case of self-destruction to me! :)

    Then the incident of Kay Hagan talking to a group of atheists and got slammed by Liz Dole for it in her TV Con-mercials. Kay claimed no affiliation and declaired herself a true Christian. What she should have done was declare that ALL religious and non-religious people in North Carolina are Citizens, deserving of representation in government. She should have declared us all equal under the law.

    Being godless does not deny citizenship, nor the right to representation by political leaders.
    BTW, Kay was voted in, Dole out. Woo Hoo!!! ;)

  8. White Power Atheist
    August 20th, 2009 @ 12:17 am

    Religion and niggers go hand and hand my friends. No more niggers=a secular white utopia

  9. White Power Atheist
    August 20th, 2009 @ 12:19 am

    Edwards loves niggers… Simple as that

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