The Raving Theist

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American Idiocracy

May 31, 2006 | 20 Comments

Following in the footsteps of Madeleine Albright, another religious moderate, American Theocracy author Kevin Phillips made a fool of himself on The Colbert Report a couple of weeks ago:

Colbert: If someone hears God talking to them, wouldn’t you be crazy not to listen, I mean if you really think it’s God talking?

Phillips: I suppose so, but the more I hear that God speaks to George W. Bush and Pat Robertson, the more I think it could be an atheist conspiracy, because if God’s speaking to those two guys, you have to wonder.

Phillips originally provoked Colbert’s (perfectly sensible) question by ridiculing the President’s claims to be taking orders from God. But his answer shows that it’s not the notion of God’s existence he finds ridiculous. Rather, he’s a believer who just thinks that God would say different things — and that those who disagree with his interpretation of divine will are evil atheists or their dupes.

Next, he champions a form of dishwater Christianity which, for some reason, he fancies to be more intellectual compelling than fundamentalism:

Colbert: Shouldn’t we be listening to our moral compass — which for many people is religion . . . in order to tell us what to do in our public lives?

Phillips: Well absolutely. But I think what we need to have is your typical sort of uh Saturday or Sunday go to services, go to church, and that’s solid. But when you have, uh, some of these preachers talking about every hurricane is an example of how God uh has lost has uh, lost interest in New Orleans, or you have some nutcase whose talking about the book of Revelations saying that nothing’s wrong with world war three because it’s just another little minor hiccup on the road to redemption, you know, if you believe the Book of Revelations. So if you get some of these oddball preachers . . .

Colbert [Facetiously]: Sir, are you telling me you don’t believe the book of Revelations?

Phillips: No, No, I don’t . . . [Sneering] I even have doubts about Noah’s Ark.

Phillip’s rejection of Revelations and the Ark were greeted by a round of “yeah-that-stuff’s-crazy” laughter. But if you’re going advocate church-going and God-worship, you’ve under an obligation to explain for ignoring the plain language of the scriptures most commonly employed in those pursuits. And if you’re complaining about Christianity, forget about the Ark. Have the guts to tackle the Resurrection, even if you don’t get the same cheap laughs you do from attacking all the other “obviously” ridiculous stories.

Comments

20 Responses to “American Idiocracy”

  1. Levendis
    May 31st, 2006 @ 8:49 am

    Isn’t it fantastically convenient to be able to dismiss another lunatic claiming to be speaking for God just because you don’t agree with what he is saying? What’s the point of worshipping a god if you’re just going to ignore it and do what you think is right?

  2. Jahrta
    May 31st, 2006 @ 9:16 am

    “Following in the footsteps of Madeleine Albright, another religious moderate, American Theocracy author Kevin Phillips made a fool of himself on The Colbert Report a couple of weeks ago: ”

    A couple of weeks ago, and you’re just touching on this…now? Why? It was the same situation with the Albright story as well if I recall. Are you experiencing some sort of temporal distortion that only affects your viewing of the Colbert Report, or does said anomally extend to other facets of life as well? This would explain why you foster a view of abortion from the 1930’s.

  3. Michael Bains
    May 31st, 2006 @ 9:59 am

    The Resurrection(s*) may be the funniest thing in the NT.

    And I loved your Matthew quote! LOL! Can I get a coke and a smile with that rest”?

    * can’t be forgettin’ good ol’ Lazarus, now.

  4. Chris Treborn
    May 31st, 2006 @ 5:11 pm

    Ha Ha Ha, the joke is on you atheists. Colbert may be a joker, but he is a firm believer in our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the proof that christians DO have a sense of humor. Who looks like a dumbass now?

  5. daratbatid
    May 31st, 2006 @ 6:49 pm

    As usual, you dumbfuck Christians do, Chris. It just goes with the territory.
    You know, denial, ain’t just a river in Egypt…

  6. Chris Treborn
    May 31st, 2006 @ 6:57 pm

    great nile joke daratbadass. Did you make that up yourself? You real funny

  7. qedpro
    May 31st, 2006 @ 7:30 pm

    Christ,
    Prove that colbert is a firm believer in your lord Jesus Christ. I suspect that your lord and his are totally different.

  8. JUST_ANOTHER_PRIMATE
    June 1st, 2006 @ 8:55 am

    I was disapointed to discover a while back that Colbert apparently is christian.

    Yup – very funny or even very intelligent people can be duped by religion.

  9. Thorngod
    June 1st, 2006 @ 9:20 am

    In dummies, it’s inability to think. In the intelligent, it’s intellectual cowardice. The dummies have an excuse.

  10. Facehammer
    June 1st, 2006 @ 9:23 am

    Ha Ha Ha, the joke is on you atheists. Colbert may be a joker, but he is a firm believer in our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the proof that christians DO have a sense of humor. Who looks like a dumbass now?

    Definitely still you, Chris. Colbert may have a sense of humour, but you and the vast majority of other christians still have a chronic shortage of it. Remember when you said you had no hands?

  11. jahrta
    June 1st, 2006 @ 9:29 am

    Facehammer – I suspect that Chris is so demented because he’s forced to type by slamming his head into his keyboard, seeing as how he has no hands (perhaps they sinned against him, and being a believer in the literal word of the bible, cut them off to avoid hell?). This typing technique goes a long way to explain the poor grammar and spelling, and utter lack of any cogent argument which most often accompanies severe brain damage or blunt-force trauma.

  12. Facehammer
    June 1st, 2006 @ 10:06 am

    Sounds like you’re on to something.

    Unless he types wth his penis, which would yield similar results.

  13. June
    June 1st, 2006 @ 10:40 am

    If Colbert has a sense of humor, he must appreciate how laughable the idea is that God, the omnipotent ruler of the universe, could at best create one son, who is mortal, incompetent, unable to fulfill his mission of bringing peace on earth and good will toward man, and finally dies on the cross like thousands of other humans of that time.

  14. Michael Bains
    June 1st, 2006 @ 11:31 am

    June, you ROCK!

    And all the rest o’ y’all, too. {-;
    (… even that ol’ handless headcase, Chris[tian]. He sure gave me a chuckle.)

  15. Chris Treborn
    June 1st, 2006 @ 2:31 pm

    better to have no hands than no God. If atheists weren’t so arrogant I would pity them, for they know not what they miss.

  16. Facehammer
    June 1st, 2006 @ 4:05 pm

    I know what we don’t miss – hands!

    And, having both hands and no god, I can reliably say that this is better. You’re doing a really shit job of convincing us your religion is worthy of any respect, Chris. And when you say we’re missing something – if we had this something, would it make your apparently hopelessly inept attempts at being clever and funny appear as good as you seem to think they are?

  17. Rob
    June 1st, 2006 @ 4:13 pm

    It seems pretty clear that people like Chris Treborn accuse us of being arrogant to hide their own arrogance. (And yes, it may be pretty arrogant of me to say that, but hey, there’s nothing wrong with a little arrogance in the right situations and I refuse to be arrogant enough to lie about my arrogance.)

  18. Dave
    June 3rd, 2006 @ 1:48 am

    I think that Mr. Phillips was [correctly] playing it safe for the world audience. Disbelief in the book of Revelations is fairly common, even among the faithful. A cable comedy/parody/news show would not be the best place to debate every absurdity in the bible. Especially in the ten, or so, minutes that he was on the show. I applaud him for admiting as much as he did in the time allotted.
    I’m sure he will get hate mail as it is from some of the wacko’s. We need to applaud anyone that questions the validity of this work of fiction known as the Bible.

    Mr. Treborn,
    Why are you even associating with people on a website that are clearly “Doing the work of Satan” and trying to divert you from the path of “Everlasting Life”. So go back to your bible website and stop bothering us. ;-) lol
    Unless, of course, you think it would be appropriate for us to express our dissent of the bible in YOUR house of worship. It is not appropriate for you to express your pro-bible views here.
    No need to reply, I probably won’t see it or care anyway.
    Dave

  19. Chris Treborn
    June 5th, 2006 @ 2:45 am

    Dave, you are an asshole, but I wish you well anyway. God bless you asshole.

  20. jahrta
    June 5th, 2006 @ 10:30 am

    I want to see that on a bumper sticker – it encapsulates the christian viewpoint so completely: “god bless you, asshole”

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