The Raving Theist

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Scientologitific Explanation

March 23, 2006 | 16 Comments

The level of religion-bashing on South Park over the years has been so extreme that I assume anyone associated with it was a hardcore atheist. So Isaac Hayes’ explanation that he was leaving his role as the cartoon’s “Chef” character because of its attack on Scientology seemed more than a little suspicious to me:

There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins.

Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored.

As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices.

Yes, I understand that religious people can be hypocrites, and that many of them happily mock the beliefs of other religions while remaining blind to the absurdity of their own. But, no — it’s not really possible to participate so actively for so long in the kind of mockery perpetrated by South Park without abandoning one’s faith. And it’s certainly not possible to issue a statement like that with a straight face. So I find this item from today’s the New York Post’s Page Six to be a more plausible explanation for Hayes’ departure:

Isaac Hayes may not have quit “South Park” at all — or at least not willingly. Turns out Hayes has been away from Comedy Central’s hit show for the past three months because he had a stroke. According to, he’s at home recuperating and did not issue the press release which said he was quitting because the show made fun of his faith. That release was put out by fellow Scientologist Christina “Kumi” Kimball, a fashion executive for designer Craig Taylor. According to, “Hayes loves “South Park” and needs it for income. He has a new wife and a baby on the way.”

But even if the press release was Hayes’ own, he might still be an atheist. My impression of Scientology is that it doesn’t have a God, just a race of very powerful, but perfectly natural, space aliens.


16 Responses to “Scientologitific Explanation”

  1. franky
    March 23rd, 2006 @ 9:26 am

    Did anyone see ast night’s episode. It was great. Still mocking Scientology, but also saying that Hayes was a great all-around guy.

  2. Eva, Mod.
    March 23rd, 2006 @ 12:00 pm

    something like a hate the sin, love the sinner kinda thing?

    this sounds so not like the South Park guys…maybe they are avoiding a lawsuit or something like that?

  3. Valdyr
    March 23rd, 2006 @ 2:47 pm

    “I WANNA MAKE LOVE TO… the children!” Yes, that was a great episode. It sucks that someone as cool as Hayes is a Scientologist. How do they rope celebrities in like that?

  4. conleythorn
    March 23rd, 2006 @ 3:11 pm

    What’s wrong with worshipping us space aliens?

  5. jahrta
    March 23rd, 2006 @ 4:04 pm

    Celebrities who join up with scientology are given instant access to the inner circles of the people behind the cult, as well as free courses, auditing sessions and greatly-accelerated rank promotions simply for being a mouthpiece for the cult. It’s a small price to pay for the cult of scientology to promote their criminal organization by using these celebrities to entice their gullible fan bases.

    look up or do a search for operation: clam bake for more info.

  6. Chris Perardi
    March 23rd, 2006 @ 4:37 pm

    There was an interesting tidbit in an interview with Hayes from January this year that I stumbled across.


    AVC: They did just do an episode that made fun of your religion, Scientology. Did that bother you?

    IH: Well, I talked to Matt and Trey about that. They didn’t let me know until it was done. I said, “Guys, you have it all wrong. We’re not like that. I know that’s your thing, but get your information correct, because somebody might believe that shit, you know?” But I understand what they’re doing. I told them to take a couple of Scientology courses, and understand what we do. [Laughs.]

  7. Chris Treborn
    March 23rd, 2006 @ 11:21 pm

    Scientiology is not a religon. They don’t believe in God, they believe in aliens, and it’s all invented by Mr. Hubbard anyway.

  8. Adam
    March 24th, 2006 @ 1:19 am

    “My impression of Scientology is that it doesn’t have a God, just a race of very powerful, but perfectly natural, space aliens.”

    Lol. Same thing, isn’t it? God is natural, our brains just aren’t powerful enough to comprehend His powers. Of course, Mormon doctrine teaches that God is part of a race of space aliens following natural law too, and Mormonism is a religion.

  9. Rob
    March 24th, 2006 @ 2:09 am

    Buddhism isn’t a religion. They don’t believe in God, they believe in karma, and its all invented by Mr. Gautama anyway.

  10. Mister Swill
    March 24th, 2006 @ 2:37 am

    Okay, everyone, before we go any further, we need to straighten out some stuff.

    What is the definition of religion?
    What is the definition of God?
    For that matter, what is the definition of god?

    Once we get that squared away, we’ll have a solid base on which to discuss what is the definition of good, what is the definition of human, and what is the definition of life.

    I’ll check back in 2009.

  11. Los Pepes
    March 24th, 2006 @ 10:31 am

    McDonalds isn’t a religion. They don’t believe in God, they believe in McRibs, and it’s all invented by Ray Kroc anyway.

  12. conleythorn
    March 24th, 2006 @ 11:34 am

    L-Ron is dead, but his shadow will lie across us for another thousand years. -Neitsche /Thorngod.

  13. Aaron Kinney
    March 24th, 2006 @ 12:32 pm

    FYI South Park has made fun of atheists as well. It was in the episode where people learn that they can shit out of their mouths.

  14. sternwallow
    March 24th, 2006 @ 6:18 pm

    If it is true that Mr. Hayes had a stroke and really didn’t want to leave South Park, a simple public statement to that effect would receive immediate attention. It would also take some of the extra heat off of Scientology. So, where is it?

  15. graemea
    March 25th, 2006 @ 2:38 am

    SP makes fun of everyone, that is what makes them so great

  16. Michael Bains
    March 25th, 2006 @ 5:57 pm

    Hola Sternwallow,

    I sure hope it’s true. It’ll make a great episode where the kids have to go and rescue Chef from some sex cult or something.

    Scientology isn’t likely to comment on it Officially in any clear fashion though, regardless of it’s veracity. If they can’t sue someone or lure in another wealthy convert, they tend to stay pretty quiet. This sit’ is a lose-lose situation from their POV.

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