The Raving Theist

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War On Christmas Part 98,232 (Send in the Ex-Marines)

December 20, 2005 | 26 Comments

Temper Fi:

A former Marine took a stab at saving the Christmas spirit yesterday — knocking over a bloody, knife-wielding Santa that was part of a controversial display outside a Manhattan home.
Julius Spohn, 64, of Newark, said he had read about the display in The Post and wanted to see the macabre scene in front of the East 18th Street brownstone belonging to Joel Krupnik and Mildred Castellanos.

Furious after seeing it, he opened the gate, walked into the small front yard and knocked down the “Bad Santa.”

“I think it’s atrocious,” said Spohn of the display, adding that he acted spontaneously when he pushed the gruesome dummy to the ground.

Simper Fi:

Two officers from the 13th Precinct arrived and told Spohn he was wrong to walk onto someone’s property and mess with their possessions.

“I’m 64 years old. I know what I’m doing. I know what I’m saying,” Spohn told the cops.

“No, you don’t,” one officer replied.

The cops — Sgt. Mitch Ortiz and Officer Sandy Quiñones — let Spohn off with a warning after he apologized to Darla [the daughter of the display’s owner] and “she accepted his apology,” Ortiz said.

Spohn said that this was the first time he had ever done anything like this — and promised not to do it again.

But this display wasn’t considered the sort of freedom he was protecting while serving in the military, he added.


26 Responses to “War On Christmas Part 98,232 (Send in the Ex-Marines)”

  1. MBains
    December 20th, 2005 @ 3:50 pm

    But this display wasn’t considered the sort of freedom he was protecting while serving in the military, he added.

    Well dang mang! I di’n’t know you got to choose which freedoms you got to protect when you enlisted!

    On the other hand, he was most likely drafted. At age 64, he would have signed up (assuming normality, LOL!) in ’bout 1961. Wow! Those were the days eh?


  2. qedpro
    December 20th, 2005 @ 3:56 pm

    why is it that atheists are the ones who forgive after they’ve been violated by god-fearing christians?

  3. jeff
    December 20th, 2005 @ 5:24 pm

    They should have tasered the old bastard. Merry Fucking Christmyth Grandpa, ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

    Have you tasered a psychopathic Christian this Christmyth? Don’t you think it’s about time you did?

  4. Lily
    December 20th, 2005 @ 5:49 pm

    Where does the article so much as imply that he is a Christian? Maybe he likes Santa? Children? Maybe his aesthetic senses were ruffled?

    That’s ok. Y’all need the exercise that throwing tantrums and jumping to conclusions provide.

  5. Viole
    December 20th, 2005 @ 6:37 pm

    Let’s see… Something like eighty percent or more of the people in this country are christian. That gives us a one in five chance of being wrong. Of the non-christians, several percent can’t stand the holiday. A few just like giving gifts. Some participate only because of their relatives. Most of the rest, perhaps fifty percent of the total, ignore it as best they can. Perhaps ten or fifteen percent would throw a fit like the one described in the article. That’s two or three percent of our total.

    No, I’m betting he’s a christian.

    *throws a tantrum*

    I’ll say this though, darlin'; better they taser an old man than a young child. I’m glad they didn’t have those things when I was a kid, or I’d surely have gotten a shock or two. Except, um, I’m caucasian, and we know they only taser minority kids.

  6. Lily
    December 20th, 2005 @ 8:15 pm

    MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!! Viole has weighed in and not only given a breath-taking statistical summation of the probabilities involved but managed to work in police brutality and racism, as well. Go straight to the Olympics, girl. I am not worthy…

  7. Jason Malloy
    December 20th, 2005 @ 9:02 pm

    This guy is really not going to like the vampire baby Jesus display planned for next year.

  8. Jeff
    December 21st, 2005 @ 1:36 am

    How do I know he is a Christian? Geez, this is easy:

    1. He is more than comfortable pushing his beliefs on other people. In fact, I bet it comes quite natural.

    2. He believes himself to be above the law.

    3. He has a hypocritical concept of “freedom”. And the only freedom he is concerned about is his own.

    4. Even when confronted with overwhelming evidence that his beliefs and actions were improper and psychotic, he is still adamant that his behavior is acceptable, or should be.

    5. Lastly, he’s a criminal.

  9. Lily
    December 21st, 2005 @ 7:19 am

    Jeff– That is stupid beyond belief. Really. Stupid. As in middle schooler stupid. Now that you have that off your chest, go back to the locker room and belch and fart with the other boys.

  10. Shirley Knott
    December 21st, 2005 @ 8:20 am

    Lilly dear, in what way(s) does Jeff’s description vary from the common experience we have of Christians in this country? I would include you as falling under most of his descriptive statements. Your response to him validates several of the perspectives.
    As to your earlier ‘I am no worthy’ — we knew that. You’re a Christian, and your own Bible teaches you that you are not worthy. As a believer, you’re kind of stuck with that.
    Its one of the points we can agree upon — you are not worthy.
    Shirley Knott

  11. Lily
    December 21st, 2005 @ 8:46 am

    Shirley, dear.

    Viole’s comment was clever, as pretty much usual. Jason’s was funny. Jeff’s was dumb. Yours is dumber. See the difference yet? No? Why am I not surprised?

    Let’s see: 1. You don’t know what my beliefs are because I have not yet pushed them on anyone. 2. I have neither expressed nor demonstrated that I feel myself to be above the law. 3. I have expressed nothing about my “concept” of freedom. 4. No actions of mine have been deemed psychotic or improper…. yet. 5. I have not been arrested and I have no criminal record.

    Now do you understand why your response is even dumber than Jeff’s, though I would not have supposed that possible?

  12. twyg
    December 21st, 2005 @ 8:52 am

    Lilliputian thinks it makes her look smart to call other people stupid. that makes the baby jebus cry, on his birfday no less!

  13. Rocketman
    December 21st, 2005 @ 9:05 am

    All things considered Lily has said nothing untrue to this point. Including I might add the assessments of the responses to the article.

    Having said that he most likely is a christian–or possibly a santanist.

  14. Lily
    December 21st, 2005 @ 9:06 am

    Ah twyggy, good to see that you are still smarting (the only time the word can be applied to you) because I called you a heartless jackass and mentally deficient for so cruelly mocking the description of one woman’s pain at losing her child.


  15. twyg
    December 21st, 2005 @ 9:47 am

    ah, yes. my asshole still smarts at the reaming you gave it! im a “potty-mouth” and a “boor”. ouch. and all for “cruelly mocking” an obviously unstable woman that you hold up as a saint for all the crazy shit that goes on in her life. although i will admit i am a heartless jackass, but i blame that on the devil, he lives in my head where my brain should be and tells me what to do. now please excuse me as i go and swab out the mixture of spooge and blood that is leaking from my poo-hole from the “smartening” i have suffered at the penis of lily.

  16. Viole
    December 21st, 2005 @ 9:51 am

    Oh, but our dear flower is certainly arrogant in her humility. Arrogant and defensive. An interesting combination of character traits. Not rare though. It’s most common in those who truly are arrogant, but still somehow know they aren’t superior to anyone. People who are faking arrogance.

    I could, Lily, point out why the chances are good that you’re christian. Of course, I can’t think of many reasons why you’d hide it, and even less why you’d deny it, unless you think being mysterious will gain you points with the evil atheists.

    So. Perhaps instead of mocking us for reaching the obvious conclusion, you’d be willing to state, plainly and clearly so all these stupid people who can’t guess can understand you, exactly which set of beliefs you follow?

  17. twyg
    December 21st, 2005 @ 9:54 am

    Watch out Viole! she gunna smarten you up iffn you ain’t careful!

  18. Lily
    December 21st, 2005 @ 10:27 am

    Of course I am a Christian! What has that got to do with squat? Or, more particularly, this particular post and comments?

    Lol, Rocketman. No, I am pretty indifferent to santa– though not to the children who enjoy him.

    Viole, I just got through expressing my conclusion that you are clever and you go and blow it. What a shame. I am neither arrogant (at least not very) nor defensive (what do I need to defend? Your comments speak for themselves). I am, however, disappointed by the real lack of intelligence or wit that most commenters display. There is so little pleasure to be had in mocking one’s intellectual inferiors.

    Oh damn! I am arrogant.

  19. twyg
    December 21st, 2005 @ 10:32 am

    yes, luly. and your arrogance (pride) will put you in hell with all your moral and intellectual inferiors. hopefully, in between screams, you can find the time to tell us all how stoopid we all is! but then, we will have an eternity together won’t we? damn. you is a smurt one!

  20. Anonymous
    December 21st, 2005 @ 10:37 am

    I think it’s possible Lucy Muff took a remedial writing class and started posting as Lily.

  21. hermesten
    December 21st, 2005 @ 10:40 am

    Relax Lily, Jeff wasn’t talking about all Christians, but it sure sounds like he was talking about the one God made president. Talk about a 5 point, on target, description of George Dubya Bush…

    Now, given the fact that God made Dubya president, and that Dubya’s support among the particularly pious runs up to about 77%, it’s only natural that some people conflate Dubya with most, if not all, Christians.

  22. Lily
    December 21st, 2005 @ 11:20 am

    hermesten! Good to see you again. Now let’s see. What will happen, if we start talking politics…? It will be far safer and a lot more fun, if we go back to abusing Paul Anka.

  23. hermesten
    December 21st, 2005 @ 12:05 pm

    Paul Anka would appear to be quite capable of abusing himself, as well as the rest of us.

  24. skinnydwarf
    December 21st, 2005 @ 3:58 pm

    I like how they let him off he said he was sorry. Jeez, I didn’t know you could do that. What is this, pre-school? “I said I was sorry to the mother of the kid I killed. So it’s ok, right?” Yeah, I know trespass is different from murder.

    What if it had been black marine who knocked down the Santa of a rich WASP, though? Would they all be “he said he was sorry, so it’s ok”?

    If you try hard enough, you can bring race into anything. Or religion: would the police have felt the same way if it had been an arab Muslim who knocked down the Santa, for offending his religion? Or what if it was the same reasons as the marine in the story?

  25. jrdamien
    December 22nd, 2005 @ 3:58 am

    All I know is, Jesus makes me horny.

  26. Lily
    December 22nd, 2005 @ 10:54 am

    skinnydwarf: Since you know that trespass is different than murder, why draw the analogy anyway?

    How do you know that this man is not a black marine?

    If he were a muslim, I don’t think the display would offend his religion. If he were offended for the same reasons as our original marine, I would expect the same outcome. Clearly (or at least it seems to me clear) the police were sympathetic to the older man’s outrage.

    So far, no one has successfully challenged Viole’s gold medal for the best demonstration of conceptual Anschluss this season.

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