The Raving Theist

Dedicated to Jesus Christ, Now and Forever


September 27, 2005 | 47 Comments

Jill of Feministe has graciously responded to my intemperate post of Monday, which criticized her suggestion that gays, lesbians, bisexuals and the transgendered join the Unity Fellowship Church. With the exception of the few minor quibbles identified below, I believe that we


47 Responses to “Unified”

  1. RavingGayMan
    September 28th, 2005 @ 12:35 am

    Hi. I am a gay man.

    All I ask is please stop calling anal sex sodomy. It insults the story of sodom and ghomorra. For christ sake just leave july alone. Or was her name judy. Shit. I forgot. And i really cant be bothered to alt-tab my way back to the article. Bah… typing alt-tab probably takes more time than actually pushing the two buttons simultaneously… well, my laziness is probably a sign from god that i should be more active in my evangelic preaching.

    Sure, you might ask what’s the pont in following god if he’s just gonna castrate me, and feed my genitals to mary (we all know she’s begging for it). This is my answer:

    When I found the bible I KNEW, not believe, I KNEW that this was the absolute truth in the universe, that god is the universal and eternal creator, and that I would have to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and saviour to enter the kingdom of heaven. If heaven is paradise, then surely once I get there I will be having non consensual sex with anything male (except maybe god). I know that god has said in his holy text the bible that homosexuality is a sin, but he will realize that it isnt the devil that has tempted me to sin, but rather it is god’s own design. He is the one that sculpted the factory steel worker to be such a rugged, chiseled, marvelously sexy figure.

    The electrochemical reactions and hormones telling my genitals to rise as I watch steel workers help america survive… well, I gotta say, it is god’s work, and we all know god works in mysterious ways.

    I am a gay christian. The pope and all the dirty catholics who accuse me of sin are the real sinners. I am just a male seekig another male. Quite actively. With success. God, I love thee. I know that you are disembodied and that we probably will never be able to have non consensual sex together, but I’m sure that you have the power to induce my brain to undergo unimaginable bliss. Not the kind of high you get form acing a math midterm. I’m talking about the kind of bliss that unloads god’s pure juice out from my sacred tunnel.

    Gay christians are the real saviours of humanity.

  2. ElDiablo
    September 28th, 2005 @ 12:45 am

    Wow! I just had a revelation! I find it ironic that x-tians call homosexual behavior a lifestyle. When one thinks about it, Homosexuals are BORN homosexual, and x-tianity is a lifestyle!

    Religion=Lifestyle Choice Homosexuality=No Choice/Born with it

    Damn! If I aint smart!

  3. Mookie
    September 28th, 2005 @ 1:07 am

    You’re frothing at the mouth, RA. Here’s a napkin, wipe that spittle off your face.

  4. LucyMuff
    September 28th, 2005 @ 1:09 am

    diaablo person, you are coreect whens you say you aint smart. for that be true. Also, you is coreect to say damn, for damned you be, and for likings the bum sex means you go to hell, and there you will prob ably burns a lot. You’s is not born gays, butr even if yous was, that is god telling you that you have a challenge. If you born with gay wantings then that is to mean that you should spend your life in chastity and that is defonatily worth place in heaven with JESUS who is LORD. To be gay is gift from god, for JESUS LORD be telling you that he has plkan for you, plan to be priest or likewise, and that is special calling, so to waste it by sinning is even more the worst than normal sin

    choice be yours diablo fool: sin in man bum all you want, but it is not for you then to claim that GOD made you do its, yous got the choice.

    I’s is going tpo pray for yous

  5. Jennifer
    September 28th, 2005 @ 5:41 am

    You’re frothing at the mouth, RA. Here’s a napkin, wipe that spittle off your face.

    LOL! I’ve decided its because Jill appears to be on the fence with Religion. The tease of the Agnostic.

  6. RAvingGayMan
    September 28th, 2005 @ 6:50 am


    You are one of the biggest idiots I have ever seen in my life. Besides the fact that your grammar makes you look like nothing but a texan hick, you are suggesting gay men remain virgins for their whole lives? If god really thinks homosexuality is a sin, and heterosexuality is the only way into heaven, then what the FUCK makes you think abstinence will be my ticket into heaven?

    Dont you get it? Whether or not I’m a virgin, as soon as I get into heaven I am going to want to FUCK THE SHIT out of anything that’s male.

    You are fooling yourself if you think god is inept enough to give birth to children that have no choice other than homosexuality and then force those children to remain chaste losers their whole lives. Oh no.

    It’s true that we have no choice. We are born with the desire to penetrate the round cheeks of the steel workers of america. However, god is not so cruel as to send his most honest and important children to hell. He knows we cant help it. Remember, gays are not tempted by the devil. Rather, they are tempted by the chiseled sculpture of AMERICAS HOT MEN.

    Since we are not technically sinning, then just please shut the FUCK UP.

  7. ElDiablo
    September 28th, 2005 @ 7:09 am


    I have to ask… How do you actually manage to use a computer?

    First of all Lucy… I’m not gay. I’m a heterosexual. Second, I’m 44 years old. Third, I USED to be a x-tian. Fourth, I have been “married” to my wife for 24 years. Fifth, you never addressed my observation written above. And sixth…why would it matter if I was gay?

    Com’on Lucy! Admit it! You’d love to have a tit in between your lips!

    You are one of the most bigoted, backwoods, Spam eaten, Jed Clampet wannabe I have ever read on the Internet!
    I forsee a time when you will indeed receive the most coveted award for stupidity… The Darwin Award. I truly look forward to that day. Because, I will be one of the first to give you a standing ovation!

  8. ravinggayman
    September 28th, 2005 @ 7:35 am

    I just dont get how Christians can call homosexuality a sin!!!! I love God and I’m sure he loves me too. Just because I like to do something taboo doesnt mean that God will punish me. Think about how utterly sick t

  9. Tomek
    September 28th, 2005 @ 7:54 am

    I honestly can’t tell if people here are being satirical or geniune. The bible si clear about gays. If the law says that people who steal will be prosecuted, no amount of wishful thinking will change the consequences for me if I go and steal a car.

  10. Paul
    September 28th, 2005 @ 8:43 am

    “I honestly can’t tell if people here are being satirical or geniune.”

    Funny, I feel the same way about most passages in the bible.

    September 28th, 2005 @ 9:21 am

    hee hee – talking about satire – – –
    I gotta think that LucyMuff(diver) is just joking with us right …. is she another raving atheist just pulling our proverbial leg ??? Nobody can be THAT bad – can they?

  12. Nick the Dick
    September 28th, 2005 @ 9:27 am

    Get thee to a nunnery Jill!

  13. MBains
    September 28th, 2005 @ 9:37 am

    Lucy Muff is bogus JAP.

    But ain’t she a hoot? LOL!

    I would really hope that Jill would here the reason in your arguments RA. While your grammar as pretty bad (for you I mean; usually you’re quite adept on that point) in this post, your reasoning was, as usual, exemplary.

    Get thee to a nunnery Jill!

    LMAO! Thanks NtD!

  14. Jody Tresidder
    September 28th, 2005 @ 10:42 am

    I honestly don’t get Lucy Muff’s fake troll intentions.
    I remember last time (assuming it’s the same “ho-ho didn’t my surname tip you off, suckers!” Lucy Muff ) when she was swiftly unmasked, she offered an explanation of sorts: the “fun” of posing in order to draw down pompous atheist fire, seeing how far it could be played along; something roughly along those lines.
    But since she’s offering exactly the same energetically crude, unfunny stereotype, one begins to wonder if it supplies her with crucial psychological release?

  15. Tomek
    September 28th, 2005 @ 11:36 am

    Someone who believes the passages from the bible so literallymay be hard to understand so maybe we shouldn’t even bother trying :P

  16. a different tim
    September 28th, 2005 @ 12:27 pm

    “He is the one that sculpted the factory steel worker to be such a rugged, chiseled, marvelously sexy figure.”

    LOL. I’m neither gay nor Christian (fairly obviously on the latter) , but next time I see one of those street preachers ranting on this topic I may just use this line…….

    Raving Gay Man – have you looked at “Biological Exuberance” by Bruce Bagemihl? This argues (with much documentation and evidence) that just about every animal species under the sun has been observed indulging in gay behaviour. So next time someone accuses you of being “unnatural”…..

    BTW – I assume by non-consensual sex you mean consensual sex? Although I kind of like the idea of non consensual sex with God.
    “the man who raped God”….there’s a title for a book going begging there.

    Lucy – is it just male bum sex that you have a problem with? what about male/female bum sex? oral? hot man-on-sheep action?

  17. a different tim
    September 28th, 2005 @ 12:32 pm

    Weird. The server wouldn’t let me post “animal” and a word beginning with H and ending in exual in the same sentence. “questionable content” apparently. I was talking about a biology book…..

    Double weird since it let “jism-drenched rotting fuckslut” in a couple of threads ago. And “horse’s wank blanket” in this one.

  18. ravinggayman
    September 28th, 2005 @ 3:12 pm

    No no no no NO!

    Instead of saying non-consensual, being ambiguous because people misconstrue it as a typo, i will much more explicitly say RAPE.

    I meant non consensual.

  19. JCLOVE
    September 28th, 2005 @ 3:12 pm

    Lucy Muff may be a troll, but she is correct about one thing. The bible prohibits homosexual sex, declaring it a sin. The pope has said this directly, with no room for ambiguity. Now, you may disagree with His Holiness and his interpretation of the bible, which is fine, but if you don’t like it then you should leave the catholic church (I am catholic and can speak only for what I know) and join a faith that allows this sin. If you want to be a catholic then you have to accep that His Holiness speaks for the faith, and you must abide by his wisdom, otherwise Catholicism is not for you. It’s that simple. It is a sin, and maybe it is a test from God.

  20. RavingGayMan
    September 28th, 2005 @ 3:16 pm

    I strongly doubt that when my judgment comes, God will put me away in hell and let a penanced murderer into his kingdom.

    I trust that his judgment will far exceed yours. You are not thinking logically.

  21. RavingGayMan
    September 28th, 2005 @ 3:20 pm

    Also, there’s no reason to think God will put away those that reject Christ.

    Think about it.

    God is infinitely more wise than any of you bible thumpers. He will understand why someone would choose to reject god. He created us with the potential to be rational beings. It is his exact fucking design that leads people to dismiss his word; there is no evidence, so the rationalists and empiricists will naturally reject his ideas. What the fuck dont you get about this?

    Do you really think god would only let a select few people into heaven? I know exactly what the bible says, but god is beyond our understanding. You morons even say, he works in mysterious ways. Stop your bullshit about doom and gloom and about how we are all going to hell. If anything, you guys will have heaven denied from you while you take a university course in tolerance in God’s School of Divinity.

  22. jahrta
    September 28th, 2005 @ 3:30 pm


    would you mind telling us all, in your own words (i.e., not regurgitated from the bible), what it is about homosexual love that you find so completely abhorrant as to deem it an offense worthy of everlasting torture at the hands of demons?

  23. borgia
    September 28th, 2005 @ 5:10 pm

    All RA is saying is that christian homosexual is an oxymoron if we assume that being Christian assumes that one adheres to the teachings of the Bible. Looks as if jill wants to have her cake and eat it out too.

  24. Jill
    September 28th, 2005 @ 5:38 pm

    Wow, now that I’m perusing your blog, I see I’m quite the popular character. You could have just sent me flowers, you know.

    p.s. When are you gonna tell Dawn Eden that she’s a self-hating fruitcake whose entire belief system is a crock? Just curious.

  25. RavingGayMan
    September 28th, 2005 @ 5:42 pm

    A homosexual christian is not an oxymoron.

    I am just someone who happens to know about that god is real. Just because I’m gay doesnt change the fact that god exists. The fact that the bible says I’m an evil sinner ABSOLUTELY does not mean that god doesnt exist.

    What kind of flawed logic is this.

    If god doesnt exist, or if you choose not to believe in god, then it’s because you’ve found evidence that completely discredits god or the fact that there isnt any evidence at all leads you to ignore that question.

    THAT is the reason you might use to refute religion. A religion is not fake for the sole reason of having gay believers, despite explicitly condemning gays to hell.

    Jesus christ. Go to your nearest community college and enroll yourself in a logic course.

  26. Jill
    September 28th, 2005 @ 5:47 pm

    And a final note (because it’s not really even worth arguing this anymore) is that I titled the post “Finding My Religion” as a play on an REM song. Guess that got lost.

  27. JCLOVE
    September 28th, 2005 @ 5:52 pm

    I personally don’t care if people are gay or not. It is none of my business. All I am saying is that the catholic religon (and others, but I only know about catholics) has said it is a sin to have gay sex. That’s all there is to it. If the pope has decreed it a sin, then it is. It’s as if RA said no spamming, and then your spammed him and he banned you. Jesus has said, through his spokesperson on earth, His Holiness the pope, no bumming. If you do it, you will get banned from heaven. You decide what you want, but then don’t complain about the consequences.

  28. Rob
    September 28th, 2005 @ 6:14 pm

    RavingGayMan, where does it say you have to be a Christian to believe in god. Why does god have to be Jesus Christ? Its not the god belief part thats an oxymoron, its the Christ part that is. You are choosing a faith that frowns on your form of sexuality when there are probably a few that don’t. (though I’ll admit there are not too many of them.)

  29. Ben_Dover
    September 28th, 2005 @ 6:27 pm

    JCLOVE, you are a fool. Although I am not gay I’d rather get fucked in the ass than have my brain scrambled to the point where I could think like you do and not want to kill myself. Godidiot is too generous for you and your ilk. You give retards a bad name, and jesus will spank you for it.

  30. RavingGayMan
    September 28th, 2005 @ 7:13 pm

    I think all gay Christians in the world should perform a mass ejaculation onto a statue of the pope. The pope’s statue of course will, quite inaccurately, be sculpted such that the abs are chiseled, the biceps are mountanous, the thighs are literally rock hard (other parts of the body will be made with soft cement so as to make the thigh noticeably more rock hard than everything else), and the bulge (you know what I’m talking about) in full-fledged arousal mode.

    Imagine a hundred thousand gay men all with their pants down, panting themselves, masturbating and spilling god’s seed all at the same time, while in unison saying fuck the pope. They will be meaning that they want to fuck the pope, on account of his sculpture being gorgeous, and they will also want to “do away with” the pope, castrating him and feeding his scrotum to his children as his wife converts to judaism. That is the ultimate penance.

  31. JCLOVE
    September 28th, 2005 @ 7:38 pm

    there is no such thing as a gay christian, and your disgusting sacrilege is perhaps evidence that His Holiness was right about you all along

  32. RavingGayMan
    September 28th, 2005 @ 7:45 pm

    I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again. God teaches tolerance of other lifestyles. Even the pope acknowledges the Old Testament is nothing but symbolic bullshit (although for some reason he persists in labeling homosexuals as the second coming of Hitler).

    Remember. God teaches tolerance of other lifestyles, as long as those particular lifestyles do no infringe on other Christians’ basic rights. My prolific sexual adventures with man have never hurt anyone, not even the man who is accepting my eager genitals. I know I raved before that non consensual sex is a fetish of mine. What I meant to say is acting out rape is a fetish of mine. All of my sex is perfectly consensual (and why wouldnt it be? I have long luxurious blonde hair and a gull bladder most greek gods could ONLY DREAM of having).

    When I enter the bum of a Hamilton steel worker, his response is not one of panic, of fright, of resistence. Instead, he embraces each thrust of my body into his backside.

    In fact, maybe the only crime I’ve ever been guilty of is tearing the muscles inside the rectum of my lovers. What can I say. I like rough sex.

    Anyway, what I was trying to say, at the beginning of this comment, is that WHEN I THRUST MYSELF INTO A MECHANICAL ENGINEER I AM NOT HURTING ANYONE, EXCEPT THE MUSCLES IN HIS BACKSIDE.

    There is no way god wont accept me into his kingdom. Remember. He teaches tolerance. The old testament is bullshit. I’m practically guaranteed a ticket into heaven.

  33. RavingGayMan
    September 28th, 2005 @ 7:53 pm

    “there is no such thing as a gay christian”

    Sigh. Of course there are gay christians. I am one. Right in the flesh (and literally naked as you are reading this).

    What you should be saying is that gay christians will not enter god’s kingdom. Are you mentally retarded? If there is no such thing as gay christians, then by your logic there is no such thing as christian murderers, christian thieves, christian adulterers, and the like. Yale University still has spots, I believe, for their Pure Mathematics program. I’m sure it will teach you a thing or two about logic. Please enroll and try to educate yourself rather than hypocritically sodomize your own wife and wasting your seed inside her mouth.

    Now, although YOU and the dirty pope may THINK that I wont get into heaven, I have all confidence that I will be granted admission to his kingdom. I’ve already explained why and I wont explain again. You are nothing but a moron.

  34. qedpro
    September 28th, 2005 @ 8:59 pm

    is it possible to prevent LucyMuff from posting. Everytime i start reading that incoherent, gramatically incorrect, ignorant bable i have the most urgent need to shower. Can we at least prevent people with an IQ of less than say 10 from posting.
    Is that asking too much?

  35. borgia
    September 28th, 2005 @ 10:02 pm

    Dear Raving Gay Man,
    Unfortunately, your suggestion that I enroll in a logics course at a community college would interfere with my present studies as an PhD candidate in Economics at the University of Chicago.

    Your conviction that Christian homosexual is not an oxymoron is understandable since nobody wants to be a walking contradiction. However, your previous comments seem to cast this conviction in an untenable light. You stated that when you found the Bible you knew that it was the absolute Truth. However, you then immediately arrogated to yourself the capacity to adjudicate on what passages of the Bible are True and the infallible word of God and what passages are false. This immediately falsifies your claim that the Bible is absolute Truth, since you obviously believe it is subject to revision and that parts of it are truer than others.

    Now I grant that it would be a bit of a logical leap to infer from this that christian homosexual is an oxymoron. However, it does highlight the tension between any form of Christianity with the Bible as its sacred text and homosexuality.

  36. RavingGayman
    September 28th, 2005 @ 10:19 pm

    The New Testament, I meant.

    We all know the old testament is bs.

    A philosopher at a university in california (the exact institution escapes me at the moment) talked about the perilous state of the humanities and social studies at universities today. The academics of today lock themselves in a castle, build a moat around said castle, protected by language alligators. Dont worry, I know what adjudicate means, but lol?

  37. borgia
    September 28th, 2005 @ 11:34 pm

    I agree with you that alot of the publication emanating from today’s higher institutions is verbal sound and fury signifying nothing. However, as someone who spends nine hours a day immersed in nothing but numbers and graphs, I, and my fellow economists, are the apples to their oranges.

    Concerning the New testament’s stance on homosexuality, I’ll get back to you.

  38. RavingGayMan
    September 29th, 2005 @ 12:03 am

    Dont bother. I dont even know. Im just guessing that the New Testament doesnt prohibit homosexuality.

    Whatever Christiannity is fuck all to me now. As I said in a previous post if a god exists (notice I’m using the word if now), he should be intelligent enough to know I have no choice in sexual orientation AND he should be intelligent enough to understand why I now reject him; no evidence equals teh skepticism. Yes, i purposely misspelled the. The letter “i” in the immediate sentence is a typo; in this sentence it is purposely misspelled so as to illustrate that the previous sentence had a typo.

    By the way, a couple of young physicists wrote a program that generated essays filled with literary jargon. I’m not sure where they sent their submissions, but they had many articles published over several months. To quote my professor: “After a couple of months, they exposed the folly of the humanities. Please, whatever you do, make your essays simple and direct.”

  39. borgia
    September 29th, 2005 @ 12:44 am

    The physicists you reference were a group of students at MIT who submitted Computer Science papers auto-generated using a stochastic computer program to second-rate conferences to see if they would be accepted. Therefore i don’t quite see how they exposed the folly of the Humanities section in randomly generated computer science papers. Nevertheless, I tend to agree with you that the Humanities section is of marginal value. Good luck with your religious struggles.

    Also, the geeks over at MIT naturally have a website concerning these papers:

  40. Mookie
    September 29th, 2005 @ 3:16 am

    I know a lot of people that became atheist or agnostic after taking humanities classes; most of them were not seeking humanities degrees. Something about being exposed to different perspectives, I suppose.

  41. a different tim
    September 29th, 2005 @ 7:39 am

    The fake humaity papers are something of a hobby horse of mine.

    The best is the Sokal affair, where physicist Alan Sokal wrote a post modern “critique” of science that made no sense at all. It was accepted and published by “Socia lText”, then as now a leading journal in the social “sciences”. Find it here –
    More immediately amusing is the potmodernism generator which will randomly generate a postmodern essay, complete with footnotes etc. It is here:

    I was a humanities student myself (History nd Philosophy of Science) and a lot of what we studed is, in retrospect, of no value at all. I did take away an abiding interest in epistemology, however…….

  42. worldcitizen
    September 29th, 2005 @ 11:36 am

    You want the perspective of a really raving gay man? Visit this guy: And be sure to leave lots of comments!

    Who says christianity is incompatible with homosexuality?

  43. hermesten
    September 29th, 2005 @ 4:20 pm

    “Who says christianity is incompatible with homosexuality?”

    You’re just saying that because Jesus was gay.

  44. oliverwxyz
    September 29th, 2005 @ 5:03 pm

    RGM St Paul makes plain his hatred of gay people in some of his letters – in the NT. Also regarding the OT, Jesus says at one point he accepts it all and it will not pass away until Heaven and earth do too.


  45. oliverwxyz
    September 29th, 2005 @ 5:06 pm

    PS I’m glad you clarifued that you like acting out a fantasy of rape rather than actually raping people. I still think this sounds a little unhealthy, especially if it is a major obsession of yours. Anyway, each to their own I guess.

  46. JCLOVE
    September 30th, 2005 @ 9:47 pm

    Hermesten, you are perpetuating a false “theory” and you know it. The so-called evidence that Jesus was gay has been disproved many times. Jesus was not gay, and it is absurd to suggest otherwise. Furthermore, it has been known since the time of Jesus that hoosexuality is just plain WRONG. The bible says it, the Pope says it, what’s hard to understand about that? Gay christians are sinners, and they need to stop pretending to be gay or stop pretending to be christians. I can’t imagine any kind of sex that is so good it’s worth going to hell for (especially being anally penetrated!).

  47. Rob
    October 1st, 2005 @ 9:47 am

    I think JCLove protesteth too much. I looked into the Jesus is gay theory on the web just now. The best rebuttals to the Jesus is gay myth is an attempt to show that the phrases cited that show Jesus is gay shows something else, but all that demonstrates is merely another interpretation. After this you are just presenting an elaborate circular argument. The bible says it, the pope says it, blah blah. For this argument to work, you have to prove that the pope is infallible and the bible is inerrant. Actually you don’t even have to go that far. You only have to prove that Paul’s anti-homosexual beliefs derived from Jesus and not from his own prejudices.

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