The Raving Theist

Dedicated to Jesus Christ, Now and Forever

The Raving (Part 1)

September 21, 2005 | 12 Comments

In lieu of limericks, I’ve decided to honor my readers’ generosity during my Hurricane Katrina relief drive with the following poem based on Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven. I will add to it over next few weeks as I go through the list of contributors. The opening stanzas set the tone for the rest of the poem, so if you gave but would like to opt out please e-mail me. If I don’t know you well enough to fill a stanza, I’ll make something up, but feel free to supply me with details. Like God, I’ll only give you what I think you can handle, but keep in mind that He gave us Katrina.


The Raving

Once upon an evening foggy, toiling at a godless blog, he
Saw a sight so sad he ceased from shrieking at the theist horde.
What, he asked, could be obscener than these scenes of shrill Katrina
Killing every New Orleaner on the seething Southern shore?
Killing them like cute new feti streaming in through PP’s door?
Quoth the Raving, “Nothing more!”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was that first week, September
And I think my website members felt the empathy I bore,
Soon the friendly Brian Flemming, praying that I die, condemning
Cancer cells to rush like lemmings through and through my anal pore,
Offered to send DVDs to them who would un-pain the poor,
Quoth the Raving, “I want more.”

Jennifer, a girl peace-dreaming, came to aid, so sweetly screaming
That my churlish pro-life meme-ing made me one to be abhorred;
Nothing else to her is more fun than a late near-birth abortion
Seeing fetid fetal portions clog the clinic sinks with gore
Babies twisting in contortions as their skin so pink is gored
Quoth the Raving, “She’s a w____!

To be Continued . . .

Comments

12 Responses to “The Raving (Part 1)”

  1. AK
    September 21st, 2005 @ 11:44 am

    Very creative. I didnt know you were a poet!

  2. Jennifer
    September 21st, 2005 @ 11:56 am

    Lovely. :-)

  3. Kate B.
    September 21st, 2005 @ 1:11 pm

    Well done–you have a great ear for rhyme and meter (which I admire, since I lack it).

  4. Dr. Manhattan
    September 21st, 2005 @ 2:17 pm

    I believe it’s “abhorred”. Two r’s.

  5. Fryan
    September 21st, 2005 @ 7:41 pm

    Every time I read this anti-abortion bullshit it chips away a sliver of my respect for RA. A shame, as he runs a generally excellent site, and makes a lot of very astute observations.

  6. Jennifer
    September 21st, 2005 @ 9:26 pm

    Thank you Fryan. My thoughts exactly.

  7. Mijae
    September 22nd, 2005 @ 2:59 am

    Oh get over it guys, I think he’s wrong on this one too, but as an atheist, I enjoy the luxury of being able to disagree, even strongly, with others without having to stone or burn anything.

    The poem’s sounding beautiful, RA. Will my 5-bucks-on-a-technicality contribution count? “Grocery store” certainly fits into the pattern. ; )

  8. Rocketman
    September 22nd, 2005 @ 9:27 am

    Sorry I have to agree with the anti-abortion stance. Not always, not everytime, and as a guy I guess I don’t really have a say- but hey…as I said before if I get pregnant I’ll definately have the kid.

    It has nothing to do with theism and more I can’t uderstand how if one is an atheist one has to automatically be considered a pro-choicer.

  9. Rocketman
    September 22nd, 2005 @ 9:27 am

    Sorry I have to agree with the anti-abortion stance. Not always, not everytime, and as a guy I guess I don’t really have a say- but hey…as I said before if I get pregnant I’ll definately have the kid.

    It has nothing to do with theism and more I can’t uderstand how if one is an atheist one has to automatically be considered a pro-choicer.

  10. leon
    September 22nd, 2005 @ 10:06 am

    Poetry in an anti-abortion blog is just another red-herring.

  11. Ghoulslime
    September 25th, 2005 @ 4:06 pm

    Once upon a midnight viewing, while I read some mindless spewing,
    Hot in Rave

  12. Jennifer
    September 25th, 2005 @ 6:27 pm

    :-D

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