The Raving Theist

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Klan Billboard: “Mein Kampf Needs to be Flushed”

June 9, 2005 | 12 Comments

Danieltown, North Carolina, June 9, 2005
Special to The Raving Atheist

A billboard in front of a Ku Klux Klan lodge on one of the most traveled highways in the county has stirred a controversy over tolerance and first-amendment rights.

The sign in front of the Danieltown Klavern Hall, located at 2361 U.S. 221 south, reads “Mein Kampf needs to be flushed.” Grand Cyclops Billy Creighton defended the message.

“I believe that it is a statement supporting our belief that the Konstitution is above all, and that any other book that does not advocate the execution of kikes, fags and menstruating women is wrong,” said Creighton. “I knew that whenever we decided to put that sign up that there would be people who wouldn’t agree with it, and there would be some that would, and so we just have to stand up for what’s right.”

Although Mein Kampf calls for the extermination of Jews and homosexuals, Adolph Hitler viewed Aryan woman as useful breeders for the Master Race.

The Klan billboard drew immediate fire throughout the state. “Putting such a sign in a public place is an un-American example of intolerance, of aggressive disrespect for other citizens’ deeply held views,” said Donald Searing, Burton Craige Professor of Political Science at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “This is the sort of attitude and action that seriously endangers the liberty which lies at the heart of our democracy. It is also a good reminder that just because one may have the legal right to say something, doing so may not be morally, socially or politically desirable.”

Professor Searing said that the billboard was particularly offensive because it attacked beliefs adopted without examination, evidence or logic, or even a cursory reading of the books in which they were promulgated. “Those are the most precious sort of beliefs of all,” Searing said. The Professor suggested that mutual respect and understanding could be fostered if the parties instead erected larger billboards setting forth lengthy excerpts of the relevant passages from their foundational texts, with the most deep-seated sentiments highlighted underlined and boldfaced. “Who could possibly be offended by that?” he asked.

In response to Searing’s criticism, Creighton later removed the sign and apologized. He said he “did not realize how many Nazis view Mein Kampf — that devoted Nazis view it more highly than many in the U.S. view the Konstitution.”

“Now I realize how offensive this is to them, and after reflecting upon it, I have chosen to remove the sign,” he said. “I apologize for posting that message and deeply regret that it has offended so many in the Nazi community.”

In his apology, Creighton said his intentions were only to remind people of the perfect and exclusive truth of Konstitution, not to disrespect another organization’s book of lies.

“I firmly believe that the Konstitution is the only Truth,” he said. “I also firmly believe that killing kikes, fags and cunts is the only acceptable course of action. I hope that we can unite in our common hatred of Jews and homos, and, in time, kill the bleeding women too.”


12 Responses to “Klan Billboard: “Mein Kampf Needs to be Flushed””

  1. slinky
    June 9th, 2005 @ 12:56 pm

    Very interesting parody.

  2. qedpro
    June 9th, 2005 @ 1:09 pm

    too bad somebody won’t put up a sign saying
    flush the koran, the bible, the torah, and whatever else leads people to becoming idiots of mass destruction.

  3. Mijae
    June 9th, 2005 @ 2:37 pm

    I just had an intellectual orgasm from reading this.

    The silliness of tolerating one religion while ignoring that the person with the offending message is merely stating his own “precious” religious belief…

    The craziness of getting mad at a Klanner not for actually BEING a Klanner, but for putting up a sign about it, because THAT could be dangerous, and the way this analogy should progress to reality…

    The beautiful, masterfully done jab at the notion that attacking religious beliefs is somehow more offensive than attacking normal beliefs…

    I was hoping to get your take on this story RA, when I first saw the original one, but Holy Mother of Batman, I never expected it to be this good. I need a cigarette and I don’t even smoke.

  4. AK
    June 9th, 2005 @ 4:44 pm


    In other news, a commanding officer in the United States Army told his troops stationed in Iraq that Satan was in Fallouja and it was their job to drive him out.

    Residents of Fallouja were quite worried about the damage to civilians the offensive could cause. One local resident, evacutaing the city with his family in tow said “We need to evacuate quickly, before the Great Satan attacks us!”

  5. Kafkaesquí
    June 9th, 2005 @ 9:53 pm

    My, but there’s a lot of K’s in this post.

  6. Bill from INDC
    June 10th, 2005 @ 10:16 am

    I’m sorry RA, I’m an unbeliever, but I’m also a realist. And absolutism railing against the myriad of belief systems that 90% of the world believes in, rather than trying to co-opt them and undermine their nastier tenets within the framework of a pluralistic modern culture … well it’s sort of mental masturbation. Certainly feels good, nothing wrong with it, but wholly ineffective.

    And can actually cut into your social life and motivation if you do it too much. Not to mention, hairy palms.

  7. vjack
    June 10th, 2005 @ 4:42 pm

    Good one! The idiocy of religious people is hard to fathom. Our Christian extremists care more about their silly book than any non-Republican.

  8. Dog of Flanders
    June 11th, 2005 @ 2:24 am

    What kind of pluralistic society is it, Bill, where a member of the armed forces is ordered to use gloves when handling a Koran?

  9. Vernichten
    June 11th, 2005 @ 9:22 am

    I believe that co-opting religious beliefs is intellectual dishonesty, and I also think that RA is attempting to undermine religion’s nastier tenets within the framework of a pluralistic, modern society, using the internet to reach many varied groups and expose them to the idea that irrational fantasies should not be granted validity simply by slapping them with a sticker that says “religion”.
    It’s just my opinion.

  10. MBains
    June 11th, 2005 @ 9:17 pm

    LMAO! Since I first read it yesterday! LOL!

    And, um, er, what Vernichten said… And more of it! LOL!

  11. Ajith
    June 14th, 2005 @ 4:11 am

    That was a good one RA.


    Bangalore, India

  12. Niwrad
    June 23rd, 2005 @ 11:56 pm

    Professor Searing said that the billboard was particularly offensive because it attacked beliefs adopted without examination, evidence or logic, or even a cursory reading of the books in which they were promulgated.

    Is this guy for real? Can you say Hypocrite?

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