The Raving Theist

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Backing Up

March 13, 2005 | 19 Comments

Parents are forever backing vehicles over their two-year-old tots in the driveway, and one of God’s favorite miracles is limiting the injuries to the minor or moderate levels. He recently did it for the Palange family here, after dad accidentally ran the SUV over little Bobby’s head. They’re storing the kid’s detached skull pieces under the skin of his abdomen to keep them sterile — but will return them to his brain in two to three weeks and he’s expected to recover fully.

I covered this ground a while back when discussing the God’s kind treatment of Matthew Anthony, accidentally run over four times by mom’s 4,600-pound van. I have nothing to add, other than to note that the second miracle in these situations is always that child protective services are never called in. In any event, as long as people are going to continue to apply the “miracle” label to such mishaps, I’m going to propose a new miracle they can experience in their driveways every day


19 Responses to “Backing Up”

  1. michele
    March 13th, 2005 @ 4:17 pm

    “The family plans to install a video camera on the rear of their sport utility vehicle — a safety measure that would have prevented the accident, Polly-Palange said.”

    If their God was any good at this kind of thing, they wouldn’t need technology to make up for their stupidity.

  2. Angie
    March 13th, 2005 @ 5:01 pm

    What is a two year old doing outside unsupervised to begin with?? If properly supervised, things like this would never happen!

    And yes, I realized he “thought” he was in, but this is a two year old we are talking about! They change mid-route all the time!

    (grumbles @ idiots)

  3. michele
    March 13th, 2005 @ 5:18 pm

    Newsday had a previous article about this family and apparently they aren’t the brightest crayons in the box.

  4. MBains
    March 13th, 2005 @ 5:48 pm

    Are any of these toddler crushers planning on innocently letting their child recover at Michael Jackson’s Neverland Compound by any chance? They do seem the type…

  5. PhalsePhrophet
    March 13th, 2005 @ 7:34 pm

    How about the guy in Wisconsin who shot and killed seven people after sitting through a church service at a Sheridan Hotel? One of the survivors of the attack claims it was a miracle and but for the grace of god, she would be dead. Is it a miracle gods grace did not extend to the minister or the other six people killed?

  6. Mithras
    March 14th, 2005 @ 7:55 am

    RA, I’m not sure you want to get into the business of blaming every accident that happens on the stupidity and lack of foresight of the parents. That’s a classic Internet trope — well, this wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t an IDIOT!!!1 but I don’t think it’s particularly useful.

    I agree that the “miracle” language is pointless. But all kinds of accidents happen, to believers and nonbelievers. Obviously they weren’t forseen – that’s why we call them accidents. Rubbing people’s noses in the fact that they were negligent for a moment just makes you look like a jerk.

  7. Jarod
    March 14th, 2005 @ 9:49 am

    Mithras in #6 said – “Rubbing people’s noses in the fact that they were negligent for a moment just makes you look like a jerk.”

    Agreed. However, that’s not the primary purpose of RA’s post. I would say that the post’s primary purpose is to point out the stupidity of the “miracle” attribution to this situation, as well as to others similar to it.

    Frankly, I’m pissed off at the “miracle” attribution to events like these because it deflects appreciation from those who deserve it, such as the medical professionals who treated the kid. I’m also disturbed by these idiots’ lack of critical thinking abilities because these schmucks vote and politicians pander to these morons when they’re making laws and policies that affect all of us.

  8. Frank
    March 14th, 2005 @ 10:34 am

    From my perspective (that of a Christian): I’m growing increasingly tired of the way Christians throw around the word “miracle” all the time. Mithras is right in that accidents happen to believers and non-believers all the time. Anyone who reads the Bible should know that God does not spare Christians from the hazards of this world.

    God operates in two ways: Providence and miracles. When Christians throw around the word “miracle” it cheapens it … and I sigh and think, would that they would learn the difference.

  9. Mutt
    March 14th, 2005 @ 10:56 am

    “One of God

  10. AK
    March 14th, 2005 @ 10:59 am

    This reminds me of Elizabeth Smart, and her mormon family (especially her mormon Dad). When she was found alive, Ed Smart came out and proclaimed “God lives! Shes alive!” As if it was a miracle.

    Obvioulsy Ed Smart isnt too smart. His daughter was kidnapped and raped by a religious nutjob who thought he was the messiah. Mr. Smart may actually have been right though: God is alive and he is in the form of a transient polygamous pedophile rapist in the Salt Lake City area. And of course Elizabeth even ended up defending her captors, pretending she wasnt herself to avoid detection, and crying for her kidnappers concern when she was rescued by the cops. How fucking miraculous is that?

    The sickest part of all of this is that surely the whole kidnapping/rape/defending captors scenario that Elizabeth went through only STRENGHTENED the faith of her father and family. Probably even herself too.

    Where oh where is the atheist in these situations, making an appeal to sanity and reason?

  11. Viole
    March 14th, 2005 @ 11:25 am

    Even better, why doesn’t our Loving and All Powerful Omnipresent Deity save the poor, innocent child the suffering of getting driven over in the first place, and miraculously make the vehicle drive around it?

    You certainly can’t blame every accident on human error, but this? What the hell is a two year old doing, playing outside unattended? It could wander out into the middle of the road. Someone could walk off with it. It could start eating mushrooms, as if lawn fertilizer on the grass isn’t bad enough! People who do this should get the kid taken away, because it’s merely a symptom of a greater negligence.

  12. ocmpoma
    March 14th, 2005 @ 11:47 am

    As Jarod hinted at, the biggest problem with ‘miracles’ of this kind is that the only reason the kid is alive and will recover is medical science, which grew, at first, against the social mores of Renaissance Europe, as established by the Church.

  13. euclids child
    March 14th, 2005 @ 11:48 am

    #6 “RA, I’m not sure you want to get into the business of blaming every accident that happens on the stupidity and lack of foresight of the parents”

    To not know where your 2 yr old is is not an accident. A responsible parent will have custody or leave the child in the custody of a responsible watchful adult. I have raised 2 children and managed to not run over either of them. But then i pray to thor every time it rains, and he tends to care for children. ;}

  14. AK
    March 14th, 2005 @ 1:46 pm

    If God did exist, then the SUV would have split in two like the ocean before Moses rather than run over the child ;)

  15. A Small Victory
    March 14th, 2005 @ 2:35 pm

    question of the day

    “God Brought Him to My Door” So says Ashley Smith, the woman who was held hostage by cold blooded murderer Brian Nichols. She believes that perhaps Nichols was brought to her apartment by God so he could be caught and…

  16. GeneralZod
    March 14th, 2005 @ 4:06 pm

    No, it was a sign of God’s mercy. Clearly the child was not honoring his mother and father by being present behind the vehicle. But rather then kill the disrespectful child, as God usually commands one do with disrespectful children, God chose merely to maim him slightly to teach a lesson. And to prove he is all-loving.

  17. The World Wide Rant - v3.0
    March 14th, 2005 @ 10:34 pm

    God’s Little Helper

    The Man UpstairsTM keeps on working his voodoo magic in spooky ways. Today’s installment comes from Georgia, where Ashley Smith, held hostage by courthouse-killer Brian Nichols, says the spirit of God was moving across the waters Buckhead, down the hig…

  18. AK
    March 15th, 2005 @ 5:34 pm

    And THAT reminds me of a Simpsons episode.

    Rod and Todd Flanders are being babysat by Lisa Simpson. During the night, a moth flies around the room and scares Rod and Todd. Lisa catches the moth and puts it outside and tells the boys that theres nothing to fear from a moth.

    Later, when Rod and Todd are saying their bedtime prayers, one of them says “And thank you God for sending us Lisa to protect us from the moth you sent.”

    Ohhhhhhhh, the IRONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Wizard
    March 16th, 2005 @ 9:43 pm

    I recently pulled a ladies car out of a snow bank with my truck.
    When she was out she said “Thank GOD you came along”
    I politely said, “No Ma’m, GOD had nothing to do with getting you out. I am the one who “Came along” on my own and dicided
    to help you get out. GOD may have helped you get IN the snow bank.

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