The Raving Theist

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Important Update: The Nigerian Scam Meets the Raving Atheist

April 30, 2003 | 20 Comments

Dr. Ntha (see below) this morning responded to my offer forgo $275,000 and become a permanent e-mail Spiritual Advisor to Raving Industries’ theologically-obsessed Board of Directors.

He’s not the sharpest pencil in the box, but I absolutely, positively must say this:

He’s smoooooooooooooooooooooooooth.

Would you like to see his reply?

No problem — I can have it posted in two seconds. On the other hand, I could also wait a week.

So go to my comments section, and BEG ME!

Update to Update: I will privately e-mail Dr. Ntha’s response today to anyone who begs me to in the comment section by 11:00 p.m. tonight. Otherwise, I’ll just publish it next week together with whatever other correspondence ensues.

(NOTE: If you find it hard to beg, just remember this: It’s just like praying, except not as silly — because I actually EXIST and can deliver on my promises.)

Comments

20 Responses to “Important Update: The Nigerian Scam Meets the Raving Atheist”

  1. Kafkaesqu
    April 30th, 2003 @ 3:09 pm

    I’ll probably be in the minority (I’m used to it!), but I say hold onto it for your next Communing with the Con-man installment. Play it like a cold bottle of Heinz Ketchup.

  2. Kafkaesqu
    April 30th, 2003 @ 3:09 pm

    I’ll probably be in the minority (I’m used to it!), but I say hold onto it for your next Communing with the Con-man installment. Play it like a cold bottle of Heinz Ketchup.

  3. Kafkaesqu
    April 30th, 2003 @ 3:09 pm

    I’ll probably be in the minority (I’m used to it!), but I say hold onto it for your next Communing with the Con-man installment. Play it like a cold bottle of Heinz Ketchup.

  4. Kafkaesqu
    April 30th, 2003 @ 3:09 pm

    I’ll probably be in the minority (I’m used to it!), but I say hold onto it for your next Communing with the Con-man installment. Play it like a cold bottle of Heinz Ketchup.

  5. Kafkaesqu
    April 30th, 2003 @ 3:09 pm

    I’ll probably be in the minority (I’m used to it!), but I say hold onto it for your next Communing with the Con-man installment. Play it like a cold bottle of Heinz Ketchup.

  6. Kafkaesqu
    April 30th, 2003 @ 3:09 pm

    I’ll probably be in the minority (I’m used to it!), but I say hold onto it for your next Communing with the Con-man installment. Play it like a cold bottle of Heinz Ketchup.

  7. Nicole
    April 30th, 2003 @ 3:10 pm

    Please? Pretty please? I’m sitting here ringing my hands with anticip-ation! *grin*

  8. iceman
    April 30th, 2003 @ 3:15 pm

    god damn, whoops can say that here. i was laughing out loud at installments 1-11.

    bring it on.

    the worst thing about being an atheist is that there is no one to call to when you are having and orgasm.

    pretty please

  9. iceman
    April 30th, 2003 @ 3:17 pm

    or no one to talk to when you are not proof reading your post.

  10. The Raving Atheist
    April 30th, 2003 @ 3:33 pm

    Okay, I’ll do it this way: I’ll privately e-mail it before midnight tonight to anyone who begs me today before 11:00 p.m. (New York Time). Otherwise, I’ll just publish next week with whatever follow up correspondence ensues.

  11. Eva
    April 30th, 2003 @ 3:44 pm

    you are a godless man!
    BUT, I never beg…on the other hand, considering you used my name for this scam of a scammer, maybe…you could, out of consideration of course, you know…

  12. swim
    April 30th, 2003 @ 3:56 pm

    please oh please oh please let me see it. what a greedy bastard, he is smooth though ill give him that.

  13. The Raving Atheist
    April 30th, 2003 @ 4:28 pm

    EVA: Tsk, tsk. Now, not only will you not get it today, you’ll have to beg not to be IP banned when I post it next week. Dr. Ntha is much more clever than you.

    However, in view of your status as a frequent poster, I offer you an alternative form of pennance. Go to Mark Shea’s Catholic and Enjoying It blog and post the following comment under his anti-gay April 24th post (Catching up on Santorum): “Mark, thank you so much for being a breath of fresh, decent air in an immoral world. Bless you!”

    And NO sarcasm allowed. Post the link to you comment in this comment section as proof. Now, I know it’s a little like having to bring back the Wicked Witches broomstick, but Mark’s god can’t hurt you either because it’s just as imaginary.

  14. Eva
    April 30th, 2003 @ 4:41 pm

    maybe i’m too easy….

    http://markshea.blogspot.com/

    comment numbre 37.

    and you know what you can do with dr. ntha’s response…(i only did this because it sounded like fun, and it a personal hobby of mine to go to goddidiot pages and fuck with their minds)..

  15. Dave Simmons
    April 30th, 2003 @ 5:02 pm
  16. Dave Simmons
    April 30th, 2003 @ 5:04 pm
  17. Rumblefish
    April 30th, 2003 @ 5:14 pm

    Can you send me porn instead?

  18. Frankenstein
    April 30th, 2003 @ 6:11 pm

    Ok, I’m begging. No, really.

  19. Henry Chinaski
    April 30th, 2003 @ 6:47 pm

    Raving Atheist, who art on earth
    Hallowed be thy name
    Thy blog has come
    Thy will be done
    On earth as it is, well, on earth
    Give us this day Dr. Ntha’s reply
    And forgive us for begging
    As we refuse to forgive those who do not agree with us
    And lead us deep into tempation
    To swim forever in evil
    For thine is the kingdom
    And the power
    And the glory
    Of the RA blog
    Amen

  20. Eva
    April 30th, 2003 @ 10:05 pm

    now, kids….check messages 37 and 38…..

    ha!
    Catching up on Santorum

    I’m writing from a hotel computer on one of those time card things, so I don’t have time to surf much. Plus, as a cosmopolitan globe-trotting international type guy, I’m naturally far above the petty concerns of, ‘ow you say, American politics. However, I gather Rick Santorum appears to have observed that if the Supreme Court declares anti-sodomy laws unconstitutional then there’s no particular reason why every law against every sexual perversion is not also unconstitutional.

    This has generated a firestorm, from what I can gather. Yet, in logic, why is he not right? It reminds me of the people who shouted down abortion opponents thirty years ago who warned that this would lead to euthanasia.

    I have a friend who thinks that within our lifetime we will see a return to the games of the Colosseum. I suspect he’s right. If the only criteria for morality is “consent” then there’s no reason, ultimately, we will be able to legislate against, not only any form of sexual perversion, but against anything two people wish to do, including fight to the death for sufficient monetary gain. Think “Survivor: For Keeps”. We are a *very* sick culture.
    posted by Mark Shea at 3:05 PM

    Comments (38)

    (this people actually think that the sun rotatea around the earth…sick, sick sick…)

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