God Squad Review XXXVII
March 31, 2003 | 28 Comments
The Squad delivered a Christmas sermon so deranged last year that I noted that I was “eagerly anticipating the Squad’s Passover sermon.” This week the Squad delivers, throwing in Easter to boot.
According to the Squad, the two holidays “are arriving at just the right time this year.” Why? Perhaps because there’s really no choice of when they arrive, having been scheduled centuries in advance? No — because they’re part of God’s plan to free Iraq:
The Passover message is that God hears the cries of the oppressed and wants us to act to set them free . . . The Iraqi people are living in “Egypt,” and Saddam is “pharaoh.” At this season, we pray for a new liberation for the suffering Iraqis, whose cries may not always reach the evening news but always reach the ear of God . . . Easter is also about liberation — freedom from sin, offered up as the supreme gift of the suffering Son of God. By his death and resurrection, Christ opened the gates of salvation for all people.
I don’t know how many Iraqis live in Egypt or celebrate Passover and/or Easter, or why the Squad didn’t include the Muslim take on the conflict. But I do know that you don’t have to wait for the “evening news” to see the casualties. It’s not just Huntley-Brinkley anymore, boys — the war is being covered live, 24/7.
As to the actual message of the holidays, they’re not really all about freedom. The one consistent theme seems to be that the innocent must die. Passover is about slaughtering perfectly blameless little babies:
At midnight the LORD struck down all the firstborn in Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh, who sat on the throne, to the firstborn of the prisoner, who was in the dungeon, and the firstborn of all the livestock as well. Pharaoh and all his officials and all the Egyptians got up during the night, and there was loud wailing in Egypt, for there was not a house without someone dead.
(see Exodus 12:29-30). The Jewish babies were, spared, of course, their parents having been warned to smear lamb’s blood on their doorframes so God would know to keep out (see Exodus 12:22-24). How this strategy translates to the current situation is not clear. Plainly, there’s no need to worry about the blood this time, since, as the Squad noted before, the cries “always reach the ear of God.” But the oppressor and the oppressed are both Iraqi, and killing Iraqi infants doesn’t seem fair. Maybe spare the firstborn, kill the second?
With Easter, though, it’s pretty clear. As the Squad notes, “[t]he idea is that Jesus was the innocent lamb led to the slaughter in order to save the world from sin.” So this time, a Jew does get killed, except it’s an adult one. But the Jewish babies are again spared — as long as they convert, since “[t]he liberation offered up through the ceremonies and theology of Easter teaches us that going out of Egypt is not enough.”
March 31st, 2003 @ 10:27 am
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March 31st, 2003 @ 10:27 am
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March 31st, 2003 @ 10:27 am
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March 31st, 2003 @ 10:27 am
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March 31st, 2003 @ 10:27 am
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March 31st, 2003 @ 10:27 am
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March 31st, 2003 @ 12:42 pm
The identification of typos impairs my ability to correct them, and thus obstructs the cause of Truth. I have done so nevertheless, subject to the admission that you may have perceived that “Huntley” was previously spelled with a “ck” instead of a “t”. Fut you for pointing that out.
I think Spring might be kind of Wiccan, though . . .
March 31st, 2003 @ 1:49 pm
Typo? I merely assumed you changed him purposefully to a Hunckley so as to aim one of your inscrutable yet aimed quip at the GS boys. Silly, silly me.
And I’ll never give up Spring to the likes of a bunch of ’shroom licking tree worshipers. No sir!
March 31st, 2003 @ 1:49 pm
Typo? I merely assumed you changed him purposefully to a Hunckley so as to aim one of your inscrutable yet aimed quip at the GS boys. Silly, silly me.
And I’ll never give up Spring to the likes of a bunch of ’shroom licking tree worshipers. No sir!
March 31st, 2003 @ 1:49 pm
Typo? I merely assumed you changed him purposefully to a Hunckley so as to aim one of your inscrutable yet aimed quip at the GS boys. Silly, silly me.
And I’ll never give up Spring to the likes of a bunch of ’shroom licking tree worshipers. No sir!
March 31st, 2003 @ 1:49 pm
Typo? I merely assumed you changed him purposefully to a Hunckley so as to aim one of your inscrutable yet aimed quip at the GS boys. Silly, silly me.
And I’ll never give up Spring to the likes of a bunch of ’shroom licking tree worshipers. No sir!
March 31st, 2003 @ 1:49 pm
Typo? I merely assumed you changed him purposefully to a Hunckley so as to aim one of your inscrutable yet aimed quip at the GS boys. Silly, silly me.
And I’ll never give up Spring to the likes of a bunch of ’shroom licking tree worshipers. No sir!
March 31st, 2003 @ 1:49 pm
Typo? I merely assumed you changed him purposefully to a Hunckley so as to aim one of your inscrutable yet aimed quip at the GS boys. Silly, silly me.
And I’ll never give up Spring to the likes of a bunch of ’shroom licking tree worshipers. No sir!
March 31st, 2003 @ 1:52 pm
Did I mean to write ‘well aimed?’ Should ‘quip’ be measured in plural? I’m not certain, nor can I be sure.
March 31st, 2003 @ 1:52 pm
Did I mean to write ‘well aimed?’ Should ‘quip’ be measured in plural? I’m not certain, nor can I be sure.
March 31st, 2003 @ 1:52 pm
Did I mean to write ‘well aimed?’ Should ‘quip’ be measured in plural? I’m not certain, nor can I be sure.
March 31st, 2003 @ 1:52 pm
Did I mean to write ‘well aimed?’ Should ‘quip’ be measured in plural? I’m not certain, nor can I be sure.
March 31st, 2003 @ 1:52 pm
Did I mean to write ‘well aimed?’ Should ‘quip’ be measured in plural? I’m not certain, nor can I be sure.
March 31st, 2003 @ 1:52 pm
Did I mean to write ‘well aimed?’ Should ‘quip’ be measured in plural? I’m not certain, nor can I be sure.
March 31st, 2003 @ 2:21 pm
speaking of “shroom licking tree worshipers”. Wiccan Teen Defends Right to Be Beaten Up for Aggressively Silly and Obviously Made-Up Religion, made me laugh real fuckin hard. If you see another chance to make fun of them or any other goofy new age bullshit, i’d love to read it. “Witches” are in alot of instances more annoying then christians. It’s like, “if you’re a witch, with magical powers, how come you work at burgerking and your boyfriend gave you the clap?Can’t you cast a spell or some shit?”. However, it wouldn’t be so bad to stumble up on one of those naked pow-wows in the forest. Unless ofcoarce there all real fat and hairy. Then i’d have to call the cops on them.
March 31st, 2003 @ 2:29 pm
Rumble, They are real fat and hairy and the music sucks. Your average kegger is way more fun.
March 31st, 2003 @ 2:34 pm
I was only dreaming. The reality of the situition is you would probobly be blinded by the the reflection of the sun off of there fat pastey bodies.
April 1st, 2003 @ 2:26 am
Rumblefish,
I speak only as an outsider, but having lived in Salem, MA for a time, I can assure you that on the issue of fat & pasty vs. lithe & pleasing, a fair percentage would more than fulfill your requirements.
However, Yahmdallah is right about the music.
And so ends my sexist, wicca-slandering posting spree.
April 1st, 2003 @ 2:26 am
Rumblefish,
I speak only as an outsider, but having lived in Salem, MA for a time, I can assure you that on the issue of fat & pasty vs. lithe & pleasing, a fair percentage would more than fulfill your requirements.
However, Yahmdallah is right about the music.
And so ends my sexist, wicca-slandering posting spree.
April 1st, 2003 @ 2:26 am
Rumblefish,
I speak only as an outsider, but having lived in Salem, MA for a time, I can assure you that on the issue of fat & pasty vs. lithe & pleasing, a fair percentage would more than fulfill your requirements.
However, Yahmdallah is right about the music.
And so ends my sexist, wicca-slandering posting spree.
April 1st, 2003 @ 2:26 am
Rumblefish,
I speak only as an outsider, but having lived in Salem, MA for a time, I can assure you that on the issue of fat & pasty vs. lithe & pleasing, a fair percentage would more than fulfill your requirements.
However, Yahmdallah is right about the music.
And so ends my sexist, wicca-slandering posting spree.
April 1st, 2003 @ 2:26 am
Rumblefish,
I speak only as an outsider, but having lived in Salem, MA for a time, I can assure you that on the issue of fat & pasty vs. lithe & pleasing, a fair percentage would more than fulfill your requirements.
However, Yahmdallah is right about the music.
And so ends my sexist, wicca-slandering posting spree.
April 1st, 2003 @ 2:26 am
Rumblefish,
I speak only as an outsider, but having lived in Salem, MA for a time, I can assure you that on the issue of fat & pasty vs. lithe & pleasing, a fair percentage would more than fulfill your requirements.
However, Yahmdallah is right about the music.
And so ends my sexist, wicca-slandering posting spree.