September 10, 2002 | 53 Comments
Waxahachie, Texas, September 10, 2002
Special to The Raving Atheist
High school freshman Rebecca Moreno is challenging a dress code which prohibits her from wearing a decorative Wiccan pentacle necklace to class, according to the Dallas Morning News. The Waxahachie, Texas teen is not merely trying to make fashion statement, however — she’s vindicating her constitutional right to be beaten up for half-pretending to believe in an unctuously silly religion that is even more obviously made-up than the Christianity of her peers.
“Please compare me to the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz so that I can sanctimoniously, yet tolerantly and patiently, chide you for promoting a negative stereotype of witches,” said Rebecca. “Of course witches don’t have green skin and wart-covered noses — we look just like ordinary, everyday people,” she explained. Rebecca then noted that although Wiccans do employ “magick” and cast spells, only natural energy is harnessed, and their system of ethics prohibits them from using it for evil purposes, or even for good ones without the subject’s permission.
“I have a big problem with that,” said classmate Todd Martin, pounding Rebecca’s head against a cafeteria table. “First, she’s asking us to abandon the historical, time-honored depiction of a completely fictional hag-like character just because her newly-invented religion wants to co-opt and misuse the word ‘witch,'” said Todd. “They might as well call themselves ‘Pillsbury Dough Boys,’ and complain about being stereotyped as short, pudgy and formless,” he added. “And then they misspell ‘magic’ in that precious, annoying way so they’ll have a word to describe powers they know they don’t have. Believe me, I’d be beating her a lot harder if she didn’t act like she was almost serious about this crap sometimes.”
Rebecca insisted, between blows, that Wicca is legitimate neo-pagan Earth-based religion with ancient roots in pre-Christian Europe. “Wiccans were worshipping the Goddess and the God long before the advent of Christ,” she stated. “Like my mother before me, my children and grandchildren will learn to recite the Wiccan Rede.”
“No, the Bible is what’s ancient,” countered Todd. “A lot more ancient than ‘Wicca for Beginners’ — copyright 1993. And that politically correct, women’s’ lib “Goddess and God” stuff just proves that it’s from the early 70’s, late ’60’s, at best,” he noted. Todd also asked how come Rebecca’s mother had only first learned of the allegedly centuries-old tradition three months ago from a biker’s girlfriend at a tattoo parlor. “That’s when she gave up Tarot and began hanging around with friends with joke names like Emerald Dragonfly and Silver Wolf Raven Hawk, and started with all that “merry meet” and “blessed be” nonsense,” he said. “It almost makes me respect Quanzaa.”
Rebecca opined that most of her classmates’ hostility stemmed from their confusion of Wicca with Satanism. “Satan is a superstitious Christian concept which we reject . . . we don’t even subscribe to the notion of absolute evil.” However, Todd pointed out that claiming that you don’t believe in the devil while calling yourself a witch was more than a little disingenuous. “It’s when she says stuff like that, that I suspect she’s doing all this mostly just to mock Christianity,” he said.
Another student, Susan Mitchell, agreed. “Why doesn’t she just come right out and make fun of us for being Christians?” asked. “Instead she goes around with that pentacle hanging down where a crucifix should be, trying to imply some sort of equality between a long-established, respected, hard-to-directly-refute made-up religion and her cartoonish, made-up witch scam. It’s really just being fresh, but if she wants to have the living crap kicked out her ever day, I guess I have to respect her right to do so.”